Time, Changes, and Tolerance.

Time, where did you go?
Why did you leave me here alone?
Wait, don’t go so fast
I’m missing the moments as they pass
Now I’ve looked in the mirror
and the worlds getting clearer
So wait for me this time
I’m down
I’m down on my knees
I’m begging for all your sympathy
But you (I’m just an illusion)
you don’t seem to care (I wish that I could)
You humble people everywhere (I don’t mean to hurt you)
Now I’ve looked in the mirror
and the worlds getting clearer
I’ll take what you give me.
please know that I’m learning
So wait for me this time
I should’ve know better
I shouldn’t have wasted those days
And afternoons and mornings
I threw them all away
Now this is my time
I’m going to make this moment mine. (I shouldn’t have wasted those days)
I’ll take what you give me.
please know that I’m learning
I’ve looked in the mirror
My world’s getting clearer
So wait for me this time

Performed By: Chantal Kreviazuk

Today in group we got to talking about TOLERANCE.

Tolerance for your own emotions, tolerance for other people's emotions, tolerance for your limitations and for others limitations, tolerance for your own differences and other people’s…Tolerance leads to patience, which leads to understanding and authentic attachments that are relatable on emotional levels rather than the safe superficial ones.

I have found throughout my 12+ weeks of group that I can easily relate to people on superficial safe levels, but one of my difficulties comes in genuinely getting involved in someone else’s life ~good, bad and ugly~ and maintaining the connections that I make to people on a deeper level. I have also learned that my tolerance level for other people is virtually non existent. My twisted sense of entitlement seems to seep into every interaction I have and I feel that it is misshaping friendships that could be spectacular. My closest friends know my heart and they know my bark is worse than my bite. BUT I know that my bark is what keeps me removed from people and keeps me “safe”. I don’t want to be that way anymore.

I was reading the board in our lounge today and I saw these quotes and they resonated within me. They are subtle reminders that I am in complete control of my destiny, future and personal self. I alone control who I will become, who I will react too, who I will form connections with…I am all I need to be and I will be everything I want to be as long as I believe in me.

If I feel depressed I will sing.
If I feel sad I will laugh.
If I feel ill I will double my labor.
If I feel fear I will plunge ahead.
If I feel inferior I will wear new garments.
If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice.
If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come.
If I feel incompetent I will think of past success.
If I feel insignificant I will remember my goals.
Today I will be the master of my emotions.
-Og Mandino

I will act now. I will act now. I will act now. From now on, I will repeat these words each hour, each day, until the words become as much a habit as my breathing, and the action which follows becomes as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids. They will become as second nature. With these words I can condition my mind to perform every action necessary for my success. I will act now. I will repeat these words again and again and again. I will walk where failures fear to walk. I will work when failures seek rest. I will act now for now is all I have. Tomorrow is the day reserved for the labor of the lazy. I am not lazy. Tomorrow is the day when the failure will succeed. I am not a failure. I will act now. When I make a mistake, I won't look back at it long. I am taking the reason of the thing into my mind and then looking forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in my power.
:: Author Unknown ::

I have been making steps to remove certain people from my life that I feel are unhealthy and destructive to me and I have been striving to make REAL connections with people that I feel are important. It’s taking time, along with a few missteps along the way, but I do feel that I am making positive progress towards becoming the type of woman I can admire and respect.