There are no words.

I am so freekin angry at Lance right now I could quite happily …never mind…I refuse to finish that train of thought.

My boy has an inability to retain anything. He also has an inability to remember where anything of his was placed even when he placed it there. Long story short, he loses EVERYTHING.

This past week alone:
We (meaning he) have had to have a tow truck unlock the keys from inside the vehicle THREE times. $60 a pop. It's getting ridiculous.
We (meaning he) have had to replace his “work wardrobe” because he cannot remember what company he sent his work shirts too to be cleaned…Jesus I wish I was kidding…$45 a shirt times 10 shirts. Three days after he bought his new "wardrobe" the cleaners called him and asked when he was coming to pick up his clothing...

Now he calls me from work and says “Babe, is my wallet on the island in the kitchen?”
Give me strength. I trash the house and the car. I searched EVERYWHERE and his bloody wallet is nowhere to be found. I know he had it this morning when he went to work because I watched him put it in his back pocket. I reiterate that to him. He comes back with “oh…maybe it’s at the place we went for lunch then?” (Apparently he and the guys from work ate out today…) so I say “CALL THEM NOW!” and he says “I will when I get off work, I am really busy right now”

OMFG. Seriously. I don’t want to complete my thought process about what I would really like to do to him right now.

He has 5 credit cards in his bloody wallet. His bank card to our accounts is also there, with the PIN # written on a piece of paper wrapped around it because he can never remember the damn pin and he locks the bank account every time he tries to do anything because he guesses the wrong pin too many times…anyway…FFS. ALL of that shit has to be changed, cancelled, and stopped IMMEDIATLEY.

So, trying not to loose my ever loving mind, because really, that’s what my blog is for *lol*, I offer to call the restaurant where they had lunch. He says “well, it wasn’t really a restaurant”
OK, IF YOU WENT OUT TO EAT, AND IT WASN’T A RESTAURANT, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO??????

My exact words….slowly but surely losing my patience now.

He comes back with “don’t be mad, but Crazy Horse has a great lunch buffet…”…now crazy horse is a strip club. Personally, I don’t give a fuck that he was at a strip club. As long as it was a view only “event”, I really don’t care. What pisses me off is that he tried to hide it from me by weaseling around the truth and hedging with the “honey…baby…don’t be mad…” bullshit.
So. He lost his wallet. I called the bloody strip club and they haven’t seen it. I called the banks, I called the credit card companies, I called everyone and got all of our financial things protected and then…oh yes, it gets better….and THEN he calls me and says “I found my wallet, it was in my pocket”

OMFG.

There are no words.

Stand

Rascal Flatts – Stand.

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright



Chorus:

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what your made of

You might bend 'til you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe you hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand



Life's like a novel with end ripped out

The edge of a canyon with only one way down

Take what your given before it's gone

And start holdin' on, keep holdin' on



(Repeat chorus)



Every time you get up and get back in the race

One more small piece of you starts to fall into place - yeah



(Repeat chorus)



Yeah then you stand - yeah

Yeah, baby

Woo hoo, Woo hoo, Woo hoo

Then you stand - yeah, yeah

Changes

I’ve got news!!
I’ve got BIG news!!!
I got another promotion at work yesterday. It appears the Executives I support feel that “my knowledge and understanding is being underutilized” and as their intuitions strongly agree with my analysis of the situation, I am inclined to agree.

So, with their highly trained minds at work, they decided that I should go back to school and obtain my Business Administration Human Resource Management degree. To sum it up in a nut shell, they have decided that I should be the Labor Relations specialist for our entire business unit. Our business unit employs over 15,000 people. We currently do not have a Labor Relations Specialist because HR doesn’t have the head count necessary or a person with the specified education requirements for us to have one. Our business unit has been “winging it” ever since the new collective agreement took effect in November 2005 and for the past year, I’ve been the one “winging it” all on my own.

As a Labor Relations Specialist (reading this directly from the hiring letter I received) I will be responsible for: Organizational Behavior, Organizational Management, Recruitment and Selection, Compensation Management, Strategic Management, Collective Agreement for bargaining unit and non bargaining unit employees. Among other tasks that may or may not include: Accounting, Business Law, Business Communications, and Public Relations.

HOLY CRAP. That’s all my brain can process right now. It just keeps repeating the same two words over n over. I feel overwhelmed and proud all at the same time. To have the CEO of a company look at you and say “You are capable of bigger and better things and I am going to help you get there” is amazing. It was a board room meeting I will never forget.

I keep looking back at where I was a year ago. I had just finished group therapy and I was just starting to figure myself and my life out. I was tentative and scared. I feel so strong and capable now. The complete turn around is truly mind blowing and knowing I am the one who turned it around with very little outside help is something I will forever feel accomplished for doing.
There is good news and bad new to this new career development.

The good news is my employer will PAY for my education. The bad news is they will only pay for it after the courses required to obtain the degree have been finished with a successful 65% or higher pass mark.

The good news is that my salary has increased dramatically. The bad news is that the taxes are going to kill me *lol*

The good news is that I now have a career with a company that will keep me gainfully employed for the rest of my life. The bad news is I may miss out on other opportunities in my career life due to becoming comfortable at my current employer.

The bad news is I have to hand over the team I currently support and help manage to someone that they haven’t even hired yet. There is no good news with this. I truly love the team I work with. The team of people (for the most part) are fabulous and the atmosphere is always a lot of fun. I know I will still have interactions with them in my new role(s) but it will never be the same.

The good and bad news is that I start my position on Monday. They are not waiting until I obtain the degree before putting me in the job function. They are not waiting until they have hired a replacement for me and I have had some time to train him/her. That has its drawbacks as I will be doing a job I know very little about on a scale that is monumental and I will also be performing key duties for the team I am leaving behind until I am replaced. It speaks to their confidence in me and my ability, but it also puts a lot of stress and pressure on me. I know there will be MANY situations and issues that I will not have the knowledge to deal with and that worries me.

The good news is that my contract of employment now includes a clause that states I cannot and will not be demoted or terminated for NOT knowing how to deal with any issue, problem or perform any specific job function(s) without having the necessary training, job assistance, and educational background….which basically means they can’t get frustrated and fire me because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

I’ve filled out the application forms, I’ve been accepted for the winter term (starting January 2008) and I have also been awarded the necessary funds to obtain the degree from my bank by the means of a personal line of credit for education (which means I don’t have to pay anything on it until 6 months after I graduate and complete the degree)

I am ready to go. I am terrified to go.

In other news…
I had a CT scan today to see how the clots in my lungs are doing. The results of that should be available within 3-5 business days and my family DR will call me when he has them…if the clots are still there he is sending me to a hematologist.

The probate has finally passed on my Boyz’ personal effects and financial matters. All of their debts have been paid off and all of their contractual financial obligations have been met. The lawyers have informed me that all of the willed belongings have been distributed to the appropriate family members and that the financial willed matters are being attended to right now. They advised me of the amount of $$ I am due to inherit from the collective five of them. I will not give the total, but lets just say, they have left me very nicely well off. It saddens me to think that way. It’s not like they were old and dodgy and some relative I rarely spoke to…they are my best friends. I know they wanted me to be taken care of and to ensure that my stability will never be an issue…but Jesus. I would give every single bloody penny back for just one more day with them. Time has passed but my heart still aches.

My sister – Kim – has had another MRI and it shows that there is still growth on her nodes…which means that the MS could (and probably will) come back just as destructive as it did the first time. Her soon to be ex husband is now fighting for sole child support based on the most recent MRI scan.

I no longer work with my father!!!!!! w00t!!!!!!! The company FINALLY gave him a settlement package for early retirement being that he is set to fully retire in June 2008. His last day was Thursday of last week.

Lance and I are doing great. We are still in the discussion stages of parenthood. I think with having to go back to school and obtain a degree that those discussions are going to be put on hold. I don’t want to have to try to learn my job, go to school, and have a baby all at the same time. I know what I am capable of managing and a child just doesn’t fit the pattern right now. That doesn’t mean that we will stop the fun part of practicing baby making techniques *grinz*

Life is moving along…things are crazy…but things are really good.

Six Years

Six years.
Three Hundred and Twelve weeks.
Two Thousand One hundred and Ninety days.
Fifty Two Thousand Five Hundred and Sixty Minutes.
A lifetime.
A mere moment.
Time passes so quickly.
I am thankful that my memories are enduring.
My Fallen Family, know that you are all thought about and loved.

Vacation Pics

Here ya go...pics from our vacation