There are no words.

I am so freekin angry at Lance right now I could quite happily …never mind…I refuse to finish that train of thought.

My boy has an inability to retain anything. He also has an inability to remember where anything of his was placed even when he placed it there. Long story short, he loses EVERYTHING.

This past week alone:
We (meaning he) have had to have a tow truck unlock the keys from inside the vehicle THREE times. $60 a pop. It's getting ridiculous.
We (meaning he) have had to replace his “work wardrobe” because he cannot remember what company he sent his work shirts too to be cleaned…Jesus I wish I was kidding…$45 a shirt times 10 shirts. Three days after he bought his new "wardrobe" the cleaners called him and asked when he was coming to pick up his clothing...

Now he calls me from work and says “Babe, is my wallet on the island in the kitchen?”
Give me strength. I trash the house and the car. I searched EVERYWHERE and his bloody wallet is nowhere to be found. I know he had it this morning when he went to work because I watched him put it in his back pocket. I reiterate that to him. He comes back with “oh…maybe it’s at the place we went for lunch then?” (Apparently he and the guys from work ate out today…) so I say “CALL THEM NOW!” and he says “I will when I get off work, I am really busy right now”

OMFG. Seriously. I don’t want to complete my thought process about what I would really like to do to him right now.

He has 5 credit cards in his bloody wallet. His bank card to our accounts is also there, with the PIN # written on a piece of paper wrapped around it because he can never remember the damn pin and he locks the bank account every time he tries to do anything because he guesses the wrong pin too many times…anyway…FFS. ALL of that shit has to be changed, cancelled, and stopped IMMEDIATLEY.

So, trying not to loose my ever loving mind, because really, that’s what my blog is for *lol*, I offer to call the restaurant where they had lunch. He says “well, it wasn’t really a restaurant”
OK, IF YOU WENT OUT TO EAT, AND IT WASN’T A RESTAURANT, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO??????

My exact words….slowly but surely losing my patience now.

He comes back with “don’t be mad, but Crazy Horse has a great lunch buffet…”…now crazy horse is a strip club. Personally, I don’t give a fuck that he was at a strip club. As long as it was a view only “event”, I really don’t care. What pisses me off is that he tried to hide it from me by weaseling around the truth and hedging with the “honey…baby…don’t be mad…” bullshit.
So. He lost his wallet. I called the bloody strip club and they haven’t seen it. I called the banks, I called the credit card companies, I called everyone and got all of our financial things protected and then…oh yes, it gets better….and THEN he calls me and says “I found my wallet, it was in my pocket”

OMFG.

There are no words.