Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or am I really noticing a trend of complete ironies on blog entries latley?

Some are proclaiming BDSM cant be lived on the computer while in the same breath on another persons blog they are also actively proclaiming that they have supreme open mindedness for ALL people and mindsets of the "Lifestyle"

Some are proclaiming that they do not get emotionally involved online and then they turn around and spend all of their free time and waking thoughts blogging about how "angry", or "hurt", or any other emotion, they are by people online.

Some are proclaiming that falling in love is possible on the internet and in the same breath on another person's blog they are also actively campainging to their friends that the internet is full of nothing but lies and people with hidden agendas and do not trust anyone.

Some are unequivocally stating that they are without a doubt 100% "OVER" someone else and that they are "ready" to "move on" and never speak to that person again because he/she was such an "internet player" meanwhile in their "moving on" process they change their ID's, create a new blog and the first person they add is the "internet player" they are so "OVER" and continue to spend all of their time bitching, moaning, whining, complaining about the fact that the person they are so "OVER" did not miraculously change their personalities while they were changing their yahoo IDs.

Some truly boggle my mind because they seem to go through life believing and agreeing with whatever topic someone else blogged about. They dont seem to notice that their friends are all within a circle of people and that their friends can easily and plainly see their ineffective and ridiculous methods of indecision. It's like they are terrified to have a thought of their own.

Some are begging someone else to make a decision about what their own hearts need. They are so wrapped up in the ideas they have created and the fantasy's they envision that they have lost reality.

Is it just me or are these not ironies at their best?


I understand that contradictions lie within every person and I understand that most people react to things 100% emotionally with very little literal thought applied...but seriously...dont you ever wonder, even for a second or two, HOW these people function in their day to day lives ???

an Apology

I owe my friends here an apology for my radical disappearance from 360 and most of their lives. I got addicted to facebook and let an old set of friends relegate all of my time...I didnt forget about you guys and I'm sorry if some of you feel like I did. Please know that it wasnt intentional and that I do think about you often and miss laughing and talking with you like crazy!!

I seem to create patterns in my life ~ some good, some bad, and others that are neither, they just mean change...I hate change yet I seem to be the one creating most of it in my life...I have come to the conclusion that I am terrified of stability yet I deeply crave it.

I am noticing that another pattern is how quickly I "change" my social connections online and offline. Within the online environment it is somewhat understandable because as you get to know people past a surface level sometimes you just decide that you cant tolerate some of their decisions/choices, or you decide that your personalities arent a mix, or you grow apart through the normal ID changes and everything else that is "yahoo". But even to me, that sounds so pathetic, its a weak excuse. Why am I making excuses?

Latley I find myself thinking back on the people I have "walked away" from or have let distance grow between us. With some ~looking back with crystal clear 20/20 clarity defining goggles~ it was silly misunderstandings, or a fight that had nothing to do with me that I picked a side on, or it was extreme concern and worry with heavy handed words...I wonder if those relationships are truly gone or if they are salvagable? I wonder if it would be worth it to try?

I am havnig a hard time right now. Between the promotion at work, my family, Lance and our new house...I feel really weighted down. I used to use this as a place to destress, talk about things and unwind with some lighthearted laughter but I am having alot of problems finding that place within me latley.

I am a natural worrier. It seems to be my role. I worry about the bank account and balance the cheque books daily. I know...daily!?!? it sounds insane even to me. I worry about everything. I am a planner. I plan so I dont have to worry....now I am worrying because I dont have a plan.

I feel so intolerant of everything right now. I cant think of a reason WHY though. I feel edgey and out of place. I feel inadequate and insecure. I feel annoyed because I really have no reason to feel those things...which causes me to spend more time than I should thinking about them, which turns them into more worries without a plan...see the pattern? *sighs*

I am really missing Lance. I think that is where it is all coming from. We are happy. We spend copious amounts of time together and healthy amounts of time apart. I miss rolling over in bed and snuggling against him. I miss our sex life so bloody much sometimes that I wish these fucking clots would either just disappear or kill me.

I am disheartened because I was making progress towards healthier life choices - I started swimming, dieting, walking the dog...getting active...and I was losing weight and feeling really good about myself and then this bloody health crap started and now I am back to square one and I dont like it. I am gaining the weight back because I dont have the air supply or the pain free ability to move around alot. I...I think I just figured out my reason as to why I am so intolerant right now.

I hope you guys know that I do think about you and care about you and that I do miss you.

Testing the strength of Friendship

I have a close friend that is going through some really rough things right now. I am trying my best to be there for this person and help them through all of it but I am encountering a problem and it is affecting my ability to want to be involved.


This friend and I have been close for over 6 years now. There is nothing we haven’t discussed, or can’t discuss. We have always been completely open and honest with each other…until now.


This friend of mine also has 2 other people that they talk to regularly about the rough things they are going through, and as I am friends with the other 2 people as well, the 3 of us kind of make a circle around our friend and make sure our friend is ok.


While talking with the other 2 people we have all realized that our friend’s stories don’t seem to add up. They don’t seem to be the same. Half truths are being told to each of us by our friend and we are almost obligated to get together as a group of 3 and discuss everything that our friend says to try to figure out what is really going on.


When I try to bring up the half truths and partial stories with my friend I get silence in return to my questions. When I try to figure out what’s really going on with my friend I receive a different answer to the same question I asked the day before. When I try to help my friend with one thing, my friend spins off into another thing that is also wrong.


While I am really worried about my friend and want to do everything I can to help my friend through all of this, I am finding it hard to remain emotionally involved when I don’t feel like I am being dealt with honestly. I am hurt that my friend is making me feel like this. I am hurt that my friend is treating me like this. I am hurt that I feel that I can no longer trust that my friend’s word is truth.


I’ve been talking with my friend about all of these things for months now. My friend exclaims a lot of things that I take to be serious in matter and nature of context. My friend gets very emotional and very upset about the things going on when we talk. No matter what advice I give my friend it is never heeded and when my advice is offered my friend’s situation suddenly changes and becomes downplayed. My friend’s story suddenly changes when realistic ideas are given to help. It’s very frustrating.


At some point my friend has to be willing to take personal responsibility. My friend has to be willing to help themselves. While my friendship with this person is a priority, I cannot let everything they are going through encompass me emotionally. My other priorities do not deserve to be relegated to that. I want to be there for my friend and I want to help my friend get through everything that is going on, but I also need my friend to be honest with me about everything.


I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know what else I SHOULD do at this point. I don’t like feeling used and that is how I am starting to feel.


Does anyone have any ideas?


oO(and yes, this entry is intentionally cryptic…)

I Refuse

~Marilyn Manson - (S)aint~

I refuse to be defined by one very small part of who I am as a whole.

I refuse to be defined by my sexual preferences.

I refuse to be defined by what someone else on my household appliance tells me is acceptable or unacceptable behavior.

I refuse to live my life according to what a website states is the appropriate way to live.

I confuse many people, annoy many others, and exasperate the rest of them.



I question what I believe to be insincere, inaccurate, misleading, or simply fantasy fabricated bullshit.

I challenge people who play games with themselves and with others. I challenge ideas, thoughts, view points, and beliefs because that is I how learn about MY life. It is how I learn to better MYSELF. I am not here to save the world. I am here to save myself. Selfish? Most definitely. Realistic? Most definitely.

I have a voice that I am not afraid to use.

I have an opinion that I am not afraid to state.

I have viewpoints that may conflict when examined as a whole instead of individually.

I do not claim to have all the answers or know everything, but I do have a healthy dose of common sense mixed with an above average intelligence that I rely upon.

I don’t understand people who cannot conduct themselves in a similar manner.

I truly don’t understand how people can become so wrapped up in something that is ultimately such a small part of them as a whole. Whether you want to be spanked, or do the spanking, ultimately you will only spend ONE percent of your life doing either of those things. Regardless of the “role” you identify with, I don’t understand why (or how) it can take over your entire life and become the only thing you are able to discuss or show any interest in.

WHY do people waste such a large amount of time proclaiming to be “this” or being so wrapped up in becoming “that” yet spend absolutely NO time in actually establishing who they truly are as a complete person? The only thing most of the people I have observed over the past few years are encouraged to grow past is their inhibitions. The girls with morals and common sense are pushed to become something they aren’t comfortable with because that is now accepted as the “standard behavior” and if you aren’t at least standard with every other submissive that means you certainly cannot be a part of this lifestyle. *rolls my eyes* When did it become acceptable to forgo emotional individual growth? when did it become acceptable to only feel release and closure of emotional pain through physical pain? What does that teach?

I don’t understand why my lifestyle choice has suddenly been taken over by the internet and all the many different elaborate fabrications of its roots. What do you think the Old Guard originating BDSM members did in the 1940’s and 1950’s when there were NO computers? They established a simple code of honor, ethics, credibility, responsibility, and maintainability. They did not run rampant through chat rooms getting collared to anything with a Dominant ID. They also held the members in their community accountable for their actions. Disrespect and misbehavior was dealt with accordingly. Dominants were labeled as such by the Dominants of the community, NOT by the submissives in attendance. As a Dominant you were not ALLOWED to “claim” anyone as “yours” until the Dominant community recognized you as able and healthy. As a submissive you were not allowed to approach a Dominant and seek attention unless you were specifically requested to do so from the Dominant. There was structure and guidelines. When did that change?

It seems to me that nothing within my lifestyle choice is credible anymore. I spend virtually no energy discussing my relationship within the lifestyle barriers because many of the people that I am trying to relate with have absolutely no knowledge of what living within this lifestyle full time 24/7 actually means. I have many friends on the internet that are involved in relationships with someone else online and while I am happy that they have found their one and that their relationships are flourishing I feel like I do not have the same issues they do. I can’t listen to their issues about missing their partners and then turn around and complain that I would love to have the simple ability TO miss mine. That strikes me as slapping someone across the face. Many of my friends would give almost anything they had to be able to have the ability to be with their chosen partners 24/7. I won’t insult them by stating that sometimes I wished I could be without mine.

When I first found “BDSM” online I was quite enamored with the whole idea. This was a forum for every kinky twisted pain seeking person in the world to join and discuss the similar situations and feelings we often find ourselves dealing with. It was a forum for discussion, learning, evolving, and growing. There has always been drama, players, and gossip, but as a whole I felt like I was part of something that was sincere and real. I now go into chat and simply watch with undisguised horrified amusement as all these emotionally broken attention seeking whore’s and these abusive inane power hungry men come together to form this elaborate heaping disaster.

I have watched this one twit collar herself and un-collar herself no less than 4 times this fall. Yes, FOUR months, FOUR men. I have watched the people in this chat room encourage and support her self destruction. I have watched her play her games and I have watched her get truly viscious to anyone that has the balls to tell her she is acting like a moron. When she isnt collared she is hell on wheels, when she is collared she puts on the front that she is the worlds best trained submissive. I truly don’t understand why all of that is acceptable and condonable behavior.

I recently joined a D/s discussion group that I thought was going to be about the challenges, concerns, questions, and other issues that come up within BDSM relationships. It is led by a couple who is, by all appearances, happy and committed while being involved 24/7. Instead it has become about the idiosyncrasies involved in the chat room. I have taken ALOT of flack from people who must really think themselves quite important because I had the balls to question the realitive functionality of the created forum.

I truly don’t understand why people waste so much time, energy and emotion on their household appliances. HOW can you allow yourself to become so invested in something that should ultimately be a hobby. I can guarantee you that 99% of my fellow “BDSM Community” are NOT in positions of authority (or adversely, they are NOT in positions of meekness and unquestioning acceptability) all day every day all the time. Everyone has a boss, everyone has rules and structure to follow and everyone has opinions and view points requested from them. Everyone has learned how to function (I hope…) in the reality of life. WHY is it acceptable to simply “turn off” reality and enter a chat room where real people with real feelings are going to get hurt?

The internet doesn’t teach people HOW to have relationships. It doesn’t teach people HOW to attract healthy, similar minded, motivated, encouraging people. All we have in chat rooms today is a bunch of seriously fucked up individuals feeding off of each others inadequacies, and now we have a forum to encourage them all to bolster their warped self images. How is that supposed to breed happiness and self value?

Part of the foundation of my lifestyle choice is tolerance. Everyone is going to enjoy different things. Everyone is going to react differently to the same stimuli. Am I becoming too jaded? Or am I right to no longer find the tolerance to deal with the complete breakdown of everything I respect and hold dear about my lifestyle choice?

BDSM Communities?

There is no kink community.



There is no leather community or fetish community or BDSM community.



At least not in the way the many imply that there is.



In chat rooms, forums and blogs, the word "community" is tossed around with gravity. At leather title contests you hear the buzzword all the time. Ms Leather So-&-So and Mr. Leather Whatnot talking about how great it is to be supported by and serve the community. New erotic adventurers who come seeking knowledge and camaraderie are met with encouraging words of how the community helps one another, protects and educates their own. We exchange grave nods of approval at the utterances celebrating the strength of the community. From all this, you'd think that there's some card-carrying membership policy among a secret network of safe houses where rules are universal and the elders are wise.



There isn't.



Here's the current situation. There are multitudes of loosely knit connections of people who share similar sexual appetites or erotic aesthetics. The connections are made through the various methods available to the modern romantic, which were not available in the ancient days of 1990's and before. The blogs, the e-mail lists, pod casts, Craigslist and various Tribe and Friendster type network sites are de rigueur now.

People still connect at fetish-themed nightclubs and SM social organizations, but less so through the traditional leather bar cruise scenes. Little kink events once held on rare occasions in seedy clubs have blossomed into major destination events taking over convention hotels and drawing thousands of people with a large impact on the local economy.



Through all this, many people are still introduced through trusted mutual friends. Even the interests range wide in these communities. Today you can find every subgenre of fetishistic sex interest and erotic taste supported in web lists with accompanying events. Whether you are into silk scarf bondage or erotic cannibalism, there's someone out there that shares your interest. Enough mouse clicks and you can find them.



But does that make us a community?



This depends on how you define community and what you expect from it. The greater your assumptions and expectations, and in turn the dependency on these expectations, the more likely it is that you're going to be disappointed.



In a community one expects that we share many things in common. Various human communities are formed around religion, politics, belief systems, hereditary or ethnic lineage, history, language, laws and even brand preferences. So, do we as an aggregate agree and hold something in common?



We all like kinky sex, right? But what's kinky? I know people who enjoy spankings who do not think their sex style is kinky, nor do they feel they have anything in common with people who may practice bondage or flogging. Can we as a community agree that we believe in Safe-Sane-Consensual sexual activities or the how's and why's in the use of safewords? We certainly know that not everyone believes in or adheres to these codes of conduct. Can we assume that at least we can agree on politics that protect our rights to privacy in our bedroom and consensual sex among adults? No. Plenty of kinky people have shown with their votes that certain adults should not have sex, kinky or not, together -- especially when they're the same gender. Okay, so we can't agree on what kind of sex we have in common, basic kinky sex etiquette, who can have such sex or politics and civil liberties, yet we still identify ourselves as a group, bound by a common affinity. Curious, isn't it?



If there is a community, are the members entitled to certain rights and benefits? There is no Bill of Rights for kinksters beyond the law of the land. Sure, private clubs and organizations will have written bylaws and perks. If you qualify for membership in these, and behave in certain ways fit for those organizations, you have access to resources such as meetings, parties and outings. While rarely invoked, many clubs have the policy that misbehavior or breaking agreements can get a participant's membership revoked. These rules and benefits, however, do not extend beyond the organization. This means that there is no one designated to protect a perv among pervs in the general population. The unspoken assumption is that we're all adults and behave as polite adults. There is no one to whom individual responsibility and accountability can be abdicated… and this includes dominant/submissive or master/slave relationships.



If a kinkster encounters a crisis, is there some governing body that will come to their aid? No. Are kinksters entitled to mutual assistance simply for being kinky? No. Are there people who expect such aid? Yes.



In the end what are we left with? How do we find a place of belonging that we can call a community? It seems to be in our genetic makeup to seek out social groupings, a tribe, a village, to belong to. The soul hungers to belong and be accepted for who we are. Sex and desire is just as fundamental to the human condition as this desire to belong. Through technological conveniences and twists of words we often fool ourselves into a false sense of community to stave off the dreaded loneliness. As we lean more and expect more out of this shapeless entity we call community, we may feel more and more desperately alone and disillusioned with each disappointment.



So what is the leather / kink / perv / BDSM community?



In the end, the only community that you can count on is the one you make yourself. It's the network of friends that you actively create. To do so, you cannot hide behind a faceless screen name. You have to take the risk of making real human connections. The people you meet may come to care about who you are, but first you must care about who they are. You have to really get to know people, not just their on-line profiles and favorite quotes. When it comes down to it, the community and its quality that you experience is made by what you put into it, and the network of friends you personally make, eye-to-eye, handshake to handshake.

Written by: Fetish Diva Midori, 01/24/2006.

What do you all think about BDSM Communities?

Now before I get the typical "but I cant go to BDSM clubs" and other excuses, please stop and apply some thought to this.

Before you found this particular lifestyle did you actually think that you were in a community with every random person you ever met, or did you think that your friends and family ~ the people you spent time with doing real life things every day ~ was your community?

How can people claim that they are this or that when they have never actually experienced anything even close to a real scene? Typing "mmm yea, spank me Master, I've been bad" is entirely different than getting bent over and truly punished. The feeling of pain has very little to do with anything at that moment. Just as actually doling out pain is VERY different than typing about it.

I truly dont understand why respect is automatically given to people on a computer monitor because yahoo allowed them to make an Id with the word Master or Mistress in it. We have all seen the submissives bow, crawl, cater to, and attempt to dry hump their legs as soon as these "Masters/Mistresses" appear, but yet, when the submissive is asked "do you know that person?" the reply is almost always "no."

When did giving up your personal respect and boundaries become the IN thing to do? When did allowing every random stranger with a "dominant" yahoo ID to humiliate you become acceptable? When did it become OK to sacrifice your self, your worth, your needs, your wants, and your body to every random stranger you come across to achieve a status in a "community"?

Why do the dominants hold these submissives, who act in such self-disrespecting manners, in such "high" regard? is it simply because they always know who to PM when they are horny? or is it because they truly believe that as a submissive a person is EXPECTED to give up their entire personality and morph into some kind of super whore?

When did intelligence, common sense, self worth and logic get replaced with a free for all fuck fest that will be hand catered to those people who have a "dominant" ID?

How did people that join this "community" forget that BDSM relationships are just like any other ones? There is time, patience, communication, and mutual respect needed to make it succeed, just like anything else. Just because someone can type "cracks my whip" or "twirls my flogger" or "spanks your ass" doenst mean that person can actually DO any of those things safely and with any skill what so ever.

Just like anything else, I am so tired of the plastic facade. Lets get real people.

The picture I put in on this blog says it perfectly to me...do people really believe that submissives are on their hands and knees typing with a pencil held between their teeth because their hands are handcuffed?!??! Do submissives really believe that the "dominants" are sitting in front of their PC's wearing PVC and holding a whip to crack at their monitors!?!?

Where did reality go?!?!?!??!?!

Open To The Masses

I’ve made some changes to my blog settings, seeing that I am about to drop a huge hornets nest, I figured I would at least give the masses something honest they can complain about rather than the third party information that is going to get passed around. My page is now PUBLIC (as are the comments) and they will remain as such until I get bored of all the whining. Nothing I am about to say violates the yahoo TOS agreement, and none of my other blog entries do either, so for any that feel the need to get stupid and attempt to retaliate by reporting me, knock yourself out. Something in me cares I will let you know when I find it.

I’ve got so many things to say I don’t even know where to start.

I guess I will address the ARMCHAIR POLITICIANS first. Over the past few months I have read SO many blogs about war and the needless thoughtless death of the innocents and all the other jazzy crap that tends to go along with those “oh so touching” sentiments. Now, a few in particular have really made me laugh. They are posting all these “touching” stories ~depending upon their left or right wing “brilliant” philosophies~ regurgitated from CNN and offering up tributes to innocent casualties while bitching about how they would fix the world. They sit in their $200,000+ homes, drive their $20,000+ vehicles, eat their 3+ meals a day, work their $20+ an hour jobs and figure that they have it ALL figured out. Puhhhh’lease. Freeking spare me.

These oh so brilliant armchair politicians have NEVER looked down the barrel of a gun in a war zone and realized it was you or them. They have NEVER had to sit beside the phone for DAYS and MONTHS on end praying, wishing, hoping, and offering anything and everything they could think of to their chosen higher power to protect their loved ones who are currently staring down the barrel of said gun. They preach for peace and justice for the innocents but will they EVER contemplate getting off their asses and away from their computers to actually VOLUNTEER to go peace keep in a hostile country? Oh hell no. That isn’t the way things are done in the land of the brave or the home of the free. (and before all of my American pals take offence, I am talking to ALL the free countries, not just USA)

This planet has been involved in war since its creation. Whatever you choose to believe about how we all got here, the fact remains that someone has always fought with someone else about something that no one else on the planet could even begin to fathom understanding. Who are we to tell another country how to govern themselves when these same armchair politicians will tell their children “don’t talk to the homeless man sweety” while ignorantly muttering “get a job” when the same homeless man begs you for money for the first meal he’s probably had in days all the while looking down their noses which are holding up designer sunglasses that were made in the third world country they are currently prattling for peace in.

These same armchair politicians will spend hours, days, months, and in some cases, their entire lives complaining about the “illegals” and how they are stealing honest work from the honest citizens all the while they are still sitting on their asses collecting welfare (or the equivalent) and when they do decide to leave their houses and go to the mall, these same people leave their food court trays full of fast food garbage on the table for the “ILLEGAL” person to clean up after them. Again, Puhhhhh’lease. Freekin spare me. Don’t bitch about someone doing the job you deem below you to do. All these people want is a better life for their families and their future generations. All they want is clean water, habitable housing and safe food to eat. All they want is a good education for themselves and their children and unlike the “real” citizens of the country they are willing to do ANYTHING offered to them to make those steps in improving their lives.

Who are we to tell ANYONE how to fix their countries when we can’t fix our own?

I am so bloody tired of the hypocrisy. I don’t want to hear your recycled bullshit from history books. I don’t want to hear your deluge of rancid venom in attempting to support one side or the other in any of the wars this world is currently involved in. I simply don’t care. I don’t agree with war but I DO support the men and women who are in the hostile zones doing the jobs they were trained to do. Show some pride in your damn country already. Show some LOGIC and TOLERANCE. Show that you are more than what CNN tells you that you are. Seek out opposing view points and EDUCATE yourself. Seek out the innocent people you care so much about who actually LIVE in the hostile zones you are bellowing for peace in and truly learn what their daily lives are like. If you really want to expand your mind, seek out the innocent people from BOTH sides and find some compassion and empathy within you for BOTH of them.

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Next on my hit list are the pathetic attention seeking wanna-be suicidal maniacs. You all know them. They are the ones with the “dark” blogs and the REALLY badly written poetry that their deluded circle of psychopaths…err…yea…I mean “friends” praise as brilliant. They are the ones with the clever “ologies” about life that make them feel so knowledgeable and open minded but when challenged on their (lack of) thought processes they immediately get vindictive and spiteful. They are the ones that wallow and whine that NO ONE understands them and NO ONE loves them and NO ONE will ever find worth in them…well…umm…NO SHIT. How can you expect someone else to understand you, love you, and feel that you are worthy to them if you can’t feel those things on your own for yourself by yourself first?!?!?!?

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Next up are the people that PRETEND to be friends with you so they can attempt to manipulate you with information you may release to them to gain…what I am not really sure, but they see it as gaining something. You all know the type. The ones that will offer you all the platitudes in the world while oooooooozing sympathy all the while plotting to attempt to destroy you. Why the hell can’t these people just be honest? Is it REALLY that hard? You can bet that people know EXACTLY who their friends are and you can bet that people know EXACTLY who the hanger-ons are. Their friends are the ones that will be there for them in ANY weather. The hanger-ons are the ones that will say “aww damn, I am so sorry that happened to you…but hey, do you think if I sleep this guy I am meeting for the first time tonight that people will call me a slut?”

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I am just so damn tired of the plastic dance. I am simply not doing it anymore. Love me, hate me, I really don’t care. I know who I am and what I stand for. I know who loves me and who doesn’t. Keep me on your lists, don’t keep me on your lists, I really don’t care. From here on in, don’t ask me what I think unless you are prepared for the answer. I am tired of offering platitudes to simply supply their delusions to the people who pretend to be my friend. My true friends know who they are and they (should) know that NONE of my rant applies to them. *smiles sweetly*

Chat Slugs!!

Today I am just going to unload my thoughts about chat and this little online world we seem to have created in whatever manner they appear.

I have often found myself wondering why so called "trolls" do what they do in chat. You know who I mean, those folks that PM someone uninvited with some lame line expecting the woman to fall onto the floor with her legs spread... we've all seen these people.

so_and_so_dumbass says: 1 slut nurse / corrupt dr .... 2 naughty secretary / perv boss .... 3 slutty popstar / dirty manager .... 4 slut army chick / evil stud captain .....any u like?

or how about...

so_and_so_dumbass says: describe me hw do u move ur hands over various parts of ur body when ur horny

No really, I want to know if this works. If you have ever taken one of these people up on their offers, let me know. Explain it to me. Or, conversely... if you have ever SENT one of these messages.. let me know WHY you did. Did it work?

Do these people think that those lines will work? Have they EVER worked? If yes, who was the moron that fell for it??

~~~~~~~

wh@+5 w1tH tH3 p30pL3 tH@t r3fu53 2 u5e r3@L L3tt3r5?

On the same token, what (the) hell is *with* the ~people~ that (must) ***type*** like ~they~ only how to use ^^one^^ part ~of~ the Key**board**?!?!?!?

I can't even do it right, I know. But I'm glad about that! What is the point of this ridiculous trend? It doesn't look "cool" or "cute" it looks retarded! It looks like some half-wit somehow managed to log onto a computer and just banged their hands on the keys. Are they trying to show that they cannot type? Are they trying to show that they cannot spell? Are they trying to be "different"?? If that's the case, why don' they try using proper grammar and actually spell things correctly! THAT would be different!

~~~~~~~

Chat is just chat.

Doesn't matter what anyone says. Doesn't matter what argument someone dreams up. Doesn't matter if my blogs are about chat either. Chat is/was/always will be just chat. Sorry to disappoint you, your arguments (which I'm certain make sense in your head) are off the mark. Still.

Not all relationships represented in chat developed in chat. People could have easily met through a Yahoo! game room or an on-line dating service. People could have easily been friends off-line before venturing into chat. People actually have real-life friends, NOT met on-line that just happen to go into chat as well.

What you don't seem to grasp in what I am trying to say is...the actions in chat are NOT real. You see, when we say we're fuckin' in a chat room, (are you ready for this?)...we're really not. When we smack each other, push or pull at each other, we're really not (say it ain't so!).

Everything in our blogs had to do with CHAT. The things that were amusing in CHAT. Nothing, absolutely nothing said was to be applied to real life (except not to have bratty kids or animals that cant stay clean). I mean come on, how many 8ft red eye man wolves do you see in your real life? How many people do you encounter actually walk into a room or work place and curl up in the corner and sigh?

Chat isn't needed to start, continue, or end a relationship. I'm sure there are hundreds of people that have on-line relationships without chat. I think that's what PM's, e-mail, and the phone are for. Just because people happen to go into chat doesn't mean they need it to "survive". So THAT argument doesn't hold water either. Once again, people don't have to believe chat is real to know their relationship is.

So, even though you've touched on religion, politics, knitting, scrapbooking, soap boxes in libraries, shitting on the steps at a courthouse, football discussions and more (wow, you DO like to debate!)...you never answered the original question:

Why can't there be nipple licking in the wagering CHAT room? After all, it's just chat. And people can only be hurt or bothered by words if they allow them to hurt or bother them.

I still believe that chat IS just chat. I can differentiate reality from chat. Are there people that I know from chat that have "crossed over" into my real life? ABSOLUTELY. Is the list everyone that's on my messenger? Not even close. BUT--this whole situation has taught me that some people do not possess the ability to separate chat from their life. Is this a bad thing? I'm not sure, maybe yes, maybe no. I suppose it depends on their situations.

~~~~~~~

Ok all you enablers.. It's your turn to be addressed.

Why do you enable these dumbasses?!? I know that many of you that do it are simply trying to be nice, thoughtful, caring people and just want everyone to be happy and well. And there is not one thing wrong with that. What a world we would live in if more people showed compassion and caring toward each other. Ok with that being said, I'm fairly certain (ok I'm HOPING rather) that most of you have brains. Now, these brains should be telling you that most of the dumbasses that you enable are simply doing whatever it is they do for attention. You've GOT to be able to see that right? I've said it before and I'll say it again.. YOU CANNOT LOG INTO CHAT THE DAY AFTER A KIDNEY TRANSPLANT! There were people that believed her!!

so_and_so_dumbass says: ugh I'm sore, the kidney transplant went well yesterday. dr's are hopeful.

ding_dong_idiot_enabler says: omgggggggg!! are you ok?? you should be resting but thank you for coming on to tell us! I was sooooo worried!

Normal_Human_Being says: you both are full of shit.

Now, help me understand... is it that you TRUELY believe these dumbasses? Do you REALLY think that everything they are telling you is the God Honest truth? There's not one inkling in you that says, "Hmmm that seems fishy"? Or perhaps you just think it's easier to play their little game and humor them? Does it not make you sad for these poor folks that need your attention so desperately that they make up these horrible situations that some people really do have to deal with?

And what about you enablers that enable away in public only to scoff when that person leaves the room or up in a pm box? If it bothers you so, why do you allow them to do it?

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't understand the people that practically scream for attention all the time AND I don't understand those that give it to them.

~~~~~~~

I'M LEAVING CHAT FOREVER

Now how many times have we heard THAT phrase in a chat room? I never understood the point of this announcement. If someone hated chat so much that they were going to leave it forever, why would they bother to take the time to tell chat? You'd think they'd be in a hurry to start "forever" and get away from it. But no, for some reason, that extra jaunt through the halls of Yahoo is necessary.

so_and_so_dumbass says: I just wanted you all to know, that after today you won't be seeing me.

Normal_Human_Being says: me either. because after today is tomorrow, so therefore today is over and you will be seeing me tomorrow. but I guess tomorrow would be "today" tomorrow, so maybe you will.. I get confused about it all

so_and_so_dumbass says: no I mean it, I won't be back to chat anymore. I'm leaving..forever.

Normal_Human_Being says: k, there's the door! buhbye

ding_dong_idiot_enabler says: omg so_and_so!! whyyyyyy what's wronnnngggg what happeneddddddd????

so_and_so_dumbass says: it doesn't matter, I'm leaving no matter what

Normal_Human_Being says: see you tomorrow dumbass

And you know it's true.. if not tomorrow, then the next day or the next.. hell I've seen people leave chat forever and return within MINUTES! Wouldn't it save time and energy to just go into a room and say "PAY ATTENTION TO ME--I AM NEEDY!"

Now I get that sometimes real life has the audacity to interfere with chat, and thus "breaks" must be taken. But I’ve never gone into a room announcing that I wasn't going to be around as much. Honestly, would it affect any of you in any way if I had come in announcing it? No. It wouldn't and it shouldn't. In short, I'd only tell the people that were important to me.

If you DON'T know what I mean here's a recap: Don't come into the room announcing you're going to leave forever! Even if you ARE leaving forever.. JUST GO! The announcement isn't necessary. And if you MUST make the announcement, at least have the decency to follow through with it! Don't come back!

~~~~~~~

I think that the "iggy" button is funny. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad yahoo has it. I occasionally use it myself. I personally use it to block the spammers and the like. What strikes me as funny is when the person using it feels it's important to announce to everyone that they are!

Normal_Human_Being says: dammmn you SO can't sing!

so_and_so_dumbass says: I HEREBY WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE MY INTENTIONS TO FOREVER CLICK NORMAL_HUMAN_BEING!

Normal_Human_Being says: hotdog! Didn't you forever click me yesterday too??

so_and_so_dumbass says: CLICKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

Don't these people realize that I absolutely could not care less that they have put me on ignore?? Is that supposed to make me feel bad in some way? I laugh at it! I think it's funny! Basically what you're saying when you announce to the room is: "This person has gotten under my skin sooo much, has annoyed me sooo much, has pissed me off so much that unless I put him on ignore I won't be able to enjoy myself here"

and I think that's kinda funny. I mean, WHY would you allow someone to upset you like that? And even if they ARE bothering you that much, WHY would you let everyone in chat know that they got under your skin?

Most of the people that get ignored actually TRY to get ignored! You know who they are... they come in with the big fonts, or.. as a tour group throughout chat, just being obnoxious. They ENJOY knowing that they can disrupt your good time. They WANT to see as many people as possible say they are clicking them. I find it's much more fun to beat them at their own game.

Just last night I confronted an ass that's been pestering some friends. I gave him a dose of his own medicine. Followed him from room to room, simply waving a hi to him.. he finally got the hint and logged off. Had I announced that I was ignoring him, he would have continued to pester her and would have some pleasure knowing that I was upset by it. Instead, I'm happy and he was upset. See how it works?

Anyway, I won't be changing my chat habits anytime soon, so.. if you feel you must announce that you've ignored me, keep in mind that I really don't care in the slightest and also, it won't stop me from saying what I want to say, when and where I want to say it.

~~~~~~~

It never ceases to amaze me what people will do for just a smidgen of attention.

Well first, there's the good (and I use the term "good" loosely--VERY loosely) ol emote entrance. I'm not sure why people do this, especially if they visit the same room over and over, and they keep on with the same emote. OK WE KNOW THAT YOU THINK YOU ARE A WOLF PERSON! YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL US EVERYTIME YOU COME IN! There was one particular fellow that used to frequent D1 and almost never typed out any lines. He relied entirely on emotes, and not good ones either (several spelling errors not to mention the sheer stupidity of them). In fact, I can recall getting myself in iggyland for speaking the heresy of not enjoying the emote assualt he would make us endure. I can't remember any of them word for word, but almost all of them had something to do with "Texas, steel rods, cowboy clothes ( dusters, hats, jeans, etc.), and lightning" It was extremely annoying. Why go to a chat room if what you're going to say is already said? I mean.. it's not like you're carrying a conversation, you're just cutting and pasting something that you thought up beforehand, not in reaction to anything that's going on in the room. If that's what you want to do, why not just write a story or something?

Another entrance that gets me is the one where the person comes in and says something like "goes right to my corner and settles in for a nap" or "comes in and goes to sleep".

Uh what's the point of THAT? This is usually the same person that will somehow wake up a couple minutes later to complain about how no one greeted them or even talked to them. Cmon, I KNOW you've seen it!!

That brings up another point.. what's with the whining and moaning if enough people don't say "hello" to you when you arrive? Does it really matter? And another thing, when I come into a room, and I say, "hello to all" that counts toward YOU. So don't be all wounded because I didn't type out your entire nickname with a hello slapped next to it.

As far as the exits go, the only thing that gets me is the people that say goodnight, then stick around until every person in the room says goodnight back, and complain if it doesnt happen fast enough. When I'm leaving, I usually say goodnight to the room and then goodnight to whoever I was talking to in PM, then that's it. I won't ever complain that every person in chat didn't say goodnight to me. That's just odd to me.

But then again, I never once said I was normal.

~~~~~~~

...I'm just not understanding the whole "Vampyre" thing. I've been told it's something to do with like, a human parent and a vampire parent or some nonsense like that. Is that even correct? Why the hell is it spelled "vampyre"? Why aren't they called something like "humire" or "vampan"? Well, whatever the case may be, I think it's silly and rather dumb. I'm not sure WHY anyone within their right mind would WANT to drink blood... I get that it's a life choice or something, but I just don't see a valid reason WHY. When did vampires become "sexy"? Does it have something to do with the way they are portrayed in movies ie. biting the neck? I don't think they bite there because it's sexual, I think they bite there because there's like major arteries there. I bet if they could get to the femoral artery on the leg they'd bite there instead. It would be much more efficient.

Speaking of when did stuff become sexy... could someone tell me when being an animal became sexy? I mean, there's SO many animal ID's in chat! I don't mind if it's a nickname or just a clever ID.. I don't have a problem with that. No, what gets me is the people that really think they are animals. Like the wolf-men. You know, they come in and you see something like this:

human_pretending_tobea_wolf says: enters the room and looks around with red eyes standing tall his body lean and muscular, clothes clinging tightly showing off his perfected physique, takes a seat and scans for a female to mate with

Normal_human_being says: people don't have red eyes, that's fake.

human_pretending_tobea_wolf says: glares toward normal_human_being and rises from the chair standing to his full height of 8ft tips his head back and howls a deafening roar tearing the clothes from his body as his true form begins to show teeth snarling as the wolf form takes over

human_pretending_tobea_wolf says: NOWWW WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY TO ME LITTLE MAN?!

Normal_Human_Being says: ok first of all, wolves aren't 8ft. Even if they stand on their hind legs! second, I'm not sure if the room is ready to tolerate a drooling, naked 8ft giant in here.

These people bug the hell out of me. YOU'VE ALL SEEN THEM! ADMIT IT! I admit, I kinda get irritated by the cat people too--the ones that like, sit on laps and wag tails as they are pet. I dunno why, I can't seem to get this one thought out of my head as I read their posts: YOU ARE A PERSON!! I know it's harmless and all, and they aren't as irritating as the one-uppers, hypochondriacs, or the like, but.. it just kinda gets me.

And how come it's always cats, wolves, bears, bunnies, or foxes? How come there's no one that pretends to be an emu? Or a salamander? Or an anteater? Or a slug? Come on! Equal opportunity zoology here! We want some chat-slugs!!!

~~~~~~~

Today is a fun topic for me. There seems to be a devestating plague sweeping through chat and it's called: HYPOCHONDRIA!

hy·po·chon·dri·a
The persistent conviction that one is or is likely to become ill, often involving symptoms when illness is neither present nor likely

I KNOW you've all been a witness to the many hypochondriacs in chat. Yes I realize that sometimes people, who happen to be in chat, DO actually get sick. I'm not THAT jaded (yet). My rant is about the person that is ALWAYS sick. Not just always sick, but is always sick with something new each time they are seen.

so_and_so_dumbass says: so, I had to go to the ER today. I've had this horrible pain in the side of my head. The doctors can't seem to figure it out but they think it's the cause of my fainting spells from yesterday. And they say the fainting spells caused the muscle weakness in my calf. And the muscle weakness in my calf was the cause of the ingrown toenail I have.

ding_dong_idiot_enabler says: oh no! that is HORRIBLE, I'll be praying for you to get better hon! hugggggsssssssssssssssssssssss

Normal_Human_Being says: she should be taken out and shot immediately.

I mean really, WHY do people do shit like this? Do they really expect us to believe that they are THAT sick.. ALL the damn time? And another thing, WHYYYYY would you even WANT someone to think you're sick? Especially when you're hanging out in a sex room--I dunno about you folks but when I want sex, I prefer it to be with someone who's healthy. I invite you to come forward with any valid explanations. "Just wanting attention" is not valid! This is the only reason I can come up with--and it makes no sense. Do they do it for pity? If so, WHY? I don't want people to pity me.. why would you want to be pitied by someone? I think these hypochondriacs are so NEEDY and so insecure that they would do ANYTHING for attention, even make up stories about how sick they are. Which in turn, really proves that they are indeed, sick sick sick.

~~~~~~~

Today's rant has blossomed into a full-on tirade! This issue gets me so worked up that I start to use words like "tirade"! How many of you have seen this in a chat room:

random_chat_person says: man, I was at work today and I think I strained my back. I took an advil and it's STILL sore.

so_and_so_dumbass says: that's NOTHING.. I have 18 slipped discs and I'm taking percocet, darvocet, vicodin AND a horse tranquilizer for the pain! and I'm STILL hurting! ANNNND I can't work because of it so you should be happy!

random_chat_person says: wow, that does sound bad, what did the doctor tell you to do?

so_and_so_dumbass says: that's not even the worst part! I didn't even mention that I have to chat standing on one foot with my head tilted to the left and my right arm draped over my neck!

Ok so maybe no one's seen THIS particular scenario, but you know what I'm talking about--the ONE-UPPING that people feel the need to do. No matter WHAT you say, this person's got to out-do it. And it's not just with health--oh no, it can be done with ANYTHING... observe...

random_chat_person says: guess what! My brother gave me tickets to the Laker game, I'm really excited because I have never gone before--the seats aren't the best but they're not terrible either.

so_and_so_dumbass says: ohhh I can get Laker tickets ANYtime I want to. I know a guy. And I also get to hang out in the locker room with the team and I always go to the parties afterward. I even get to push the lil cart that collects the jock straps when the game is over.

See? is that necessary? Why can't these people let the other person have their moment of happiness. Why is it so important to feel like YOU have it sooo much better? What difference does it even make? Even if it was true, and I do believe most of the time it isnt, so what? This person can't be happy with his situation? Why must they make the other person feel bad for not getting the same thing?

I mean, it's one thing if you have had a similar situation happen to you and you share it with the person... that's called "empathy". Empathy is ok, it's comforting to people, and even helps people out.

random_chat_person says: ugh my computer crashed and I think I lost everything on my hard drive!

other_random_chat_person says: that happened to me too! make sure you check if you can get into your registry, I was able to get some stuff back that way.

so_and_so_dumbass says: that's NOTHING, when MY computer crashed, I called the help desk and it was so far gone that they had me send my comp so that they could do tests and studies on it so that it'll never happen again to any other consumer! Bill Gates himself was trying to fix it for me!

Can you tell the difference there? What is the POINT of that comment? THINK before you say stuff people, because if you don't, and I'm around, I'm calling you on it. And believe me, I LIKE making people like YOU, feel as dumb as we all know you are

~~~~~~~

I am also going to discuss "fishing". Not the kind of fishing where you get up at an ungodly hour and wear a stupid hat and sit on a boat for hours and hours, drinking beer, sitting in the sun, doing nothing but wondering if there are even fish in the waters beneath you.. no, not THAT fishing.. I'm talking.. CHAT fishing.

We all have witnessed chat fishing at sometime or another. Hell, we all might even be guilty of it once or twice. But there are some that THRIVE on it, some that simply have no other means to get attention than to go fishing. Here's a common example of chat fishing:

so_and_so_dumbass enters the room

so_and_so_dumbass says: slinks over to a dark bleak desolate corner of the room and covers up with a blanket so no one can see me or my pain...

so_and_so_dumbass says: sighhhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

ding_dong_idiot_enabler says: omg so_and_so, are you ok?? whats wrong??

Ok look, is there REALLY a need to do things like this? If you're that upset about something, find a friend on your messenger list, pm them and say, "hey friend of mine, I could really use your advice right now" or "hey friend, I need to be listened to" Must the entire room be put through the theatrics?

Not all fishing is for attention. Some is a simple ego booster. Example:

so_and_so_dumbass says: omg I am soooooo ugly! I'm so ugly that ugly people get offended when people call me ugly!!

so_and_so_dumbass says: no really, I look like someone set my face on fire and put it out with a rake!

ding_dong_idiot_enabler says: oh that can't be true! send me a pic...

so_and_so_dumbass says: omg ok! but it'll break your comp! ackkk I've warned you!

ding_dong_idiot_enabler says: omg I got your pic! wtf are you talking about?? you're sooooo cute! you're not even NEAR ugly!

Are we really this insecure about ourselves people? Come on. I guess I just don't see the point of "fishing" especially because the people that do it, I think they KNOW that people are going to tell them what they want to hear anyway, so it's not like it's a true read on their feelings.

So if you see me say something like, "grabs my pole and casts a line" then you know someone is "fishing" and I won't be one of the ding dong idiot enablers.

~~~~~~~

Chat life is funny, I've learned that feelings are very real here, and I accept that. I'm thankful for that. The people I love from here, I really do LOVE.. annnnd conversely, those I hate, I really do hate. It's fairly easy to get on my list of those I dislike, but it's extremely difficult to get removed from the list. I go into chat to hang out, talk with friends etc. You know, just like everyone else... but I can't seem to control the urge to point out people's stupidity. Sometimes it gets me into trouble, usually it just gets me ignored. Either way, I don't care.

Ok, what I mean is.. if you're gonna come into chat and use a font that takes up everyone's entire screen, or depend on emotes to express yourself, at least have the common sense to spell correctly! Take the extra nano-second to spell out entire words like "you" or "are". Learn the difference between "your" and "you're". Come on! Show us you have at least half a brain! Don't make it so easy for me!!

It's not just poor grammar that gets me irritated. It's all around stupidity. Like, if you're gonna scene in a room, in public.. be prepared to get comments about it. If you say "breats" or if you tell someone that their "clam is tighter than a red lobster special" then fuck yeah you better be ready to hear a comment from me. If you don't want to see any comments about your scene here's a tip: DON'T DO IT IN THE ROOM!

On the same note, if you don't want to hear about how awful you sing, DON'T DO IT IN VC where everyone can hear you! And people, if someone sings bad, have the balls to say so. Don't let the poor creature go on believing they have a voice if they don't. It's ok that not everyone can sing. Don't feed their ego! Stand up and tell them-- "You cannot sing! My ears are bleeding! WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WON'T YOU STOP BUTCHERING THAT SONG!!!"

Try it sometime…it's fun, but it might get you iggied *grinz*