Testing the strength of Friendship

I have a close friend that is going through some really rough things right now. I am trying my best to be there for this person and help them through all of it but I am encountering a problem and it is affecting my ability to want to be involved.


This friend and I have been close for over 6 years now. There is nothing we haven’t discussed, or can’t discuss. We have always been completely open and honest with each other…until now.


This friend of mine also has 2 other people that they talk to regularly about the rough things they are going through, and as I am friends with the other 2 people as well, the 3 of us kind of make a circle around our friend and make sure our friend is ok.


While talking with the other 2 people we have all realized that our friend’s stories don’t seem to add up. They don’t seem to be the same. Half truths are being told to each of us by our friend and we are almost obligated to get together as a group of 3 and discuss everything that our friend says to try to figure out what is really going on.


When I try to bring up the half truths and partial stories with my friend I get silence in return to my questions. When I try to figure out what’s really going on with my friend I receive a different answer to the same question I asked the day before. When I try to help my friend with one thing, my friend spins off into another thing that is also wrong.


While I am really worried about my friend and want to do everything I can to help my friend through all of this, I am finding it hard to remain emotionally involved when I don’t feel like I am being dealt with honestly. I am hurt that my friend is making me feel like this. I am hurt that my friend is treating me like this. I am hurt that I feel that I can no longer trust that my friend’s word is truth.


I’ve been talking with my friend about all of these things for months now. My friend exclaims a lot of things that I take to be serious in matter and nature of context. My friend gets very emotional and very upset about the things going on when we talk. No matter what advice I give my friend it is never heeded and when my advice is offered my friend’s situation suddenly changes and becomes downplayed. My friend’s story suddenly changes when realistic ideas are given to help. It’s very frustrating.


At some point my friend has to be willing to take personal responsibility. My friend has to be willing to help themselves. While my friendship with this person is a priority, I cannot let everything they are going through encompass me emotionally. My other priorities do not deserve to be relegated to that. I want to be there for my friend and I want to help my friend get through everything that is going on, but I also need my friend to be honest with me about everything.


I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know what else I SHOULD do at this point. I don’t like feeling used and that is how I am starting to feel.


Does anyone have any ideas?


oO(and yes, this entry is intentionally cryptic…)

I TOLD YOU SO!!! *lol*

Merging two lives is never an easy thing to accomplish. There are hiccups, arguments, annoyances, and personal living habits that all need to be worked through and (eventually) compromised on.


When Lance and I moved in together in August 2005 we each had a complete house full of things. The “battles” began as to what would stay, what would go, what would get stored, and what was just viewed as junk. For the most part merging homes with Lance was seamless. We kept who ever had the better stuff, until of course we got to our beds.


The battle really heated up when picking whose bedroom furniture we would use in the master bedroom and whose bed we would use. In the beginning Lance had a king size bed, while it was huge, I didn’t find it all that comfortable. Lance hated my double bed so that got bumped to the guest bedroom and we ended up giving his King Size bed to his nephew and buying a brand new top of the line Queen sized pillow top mattress set for the master bedroom…we were both happy with our new bed BUT we encountered a problem because neither of us had queen sized sheets.


Now, lemme tell you about sheets. The higher the thread count, the better. I don’t care what they cost. If they aren’t Egyptian cotton I am really not happy with them. Sheets are one of my truly extravagant things. Lance didn’t feel that way about them. He didn’t care as long as he had something covering the mattress.


We went shopping for sheets when we bought the new queen size bed and he almost had a coronary when he saw how much the GOOD sheets cost so we ended up with 220 daisy maid Wal-Mart brand sheets. They weren’t horrible…but they were so stiff, they didn’t really fit on the mattress because of the deep pillow top, and they pilled to hell after being washed less than 5 times. Nothing annoys me more than sheets that end up short and then having to sleep on little pilled bumps of fabric…ugh…yea, I know, I’m picky…but hey! It’s SLEEP we’re talking about here!! Its supposed to be fantastic!! *lol*


Today, my friends, was a glorious day. It took me a year and a half BUT I FINALLY convinced him that 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet sets on a “buy one get one half price” sale offer was just too damn good to pass up. We ended up with FOUR complete 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet sets for ONLY $190!!!!!!!! HOLY BIBLE!!!!!!!!!! *lol* (that just never gets old *lmao*)


We came home from errands and popped the sheet sets in the wash. I just put a set on the bed…well…I am happy to say that Lance finally gets it. He climbed into the bed…looked at me, snuggled deeper into the sheets and said “holy shit…these sheets are amazing!!!” *rotfl* You should've seen the look on his face. It was priceless.


If he woulda listened to me a year and a half ago his sexy bum would’ve been much happier so much earlier *lolol* but hey…I can be a bigger person…I didn’t say “I TOLD YOU SO” to his face…I decided to come here and do it instead *lmao*


I so cannot wait to sleep!!

The Sacred Adventures of a Taxi Driver

After a week and a half of feeling like death warmed over I finally started to feel a little better today. I had the day completely off from work and my phone didn’t ring once. While I am nervous at what I am going to end up having to deal with on Monday, I really don’t have the spare energy to care *lol*


I took it easy today. Slept in, cruised around the internet, had a nap, watched hockey and I cleaned out my bookcases. I had books placed behind books, books stacked on top of the double deep rows on the shelves, books stacked on top of the cases, books stacked on my nightstand, computer desk, kitchen island…they were everywhere...taking over the house, so I had to do something with them all.


I hate cleaning out my book cases. I hate trying to decide which book to keep and which book to let go of. It took me four hours, but I DID IT!! I managed to clean out my book cases and ended up with 2 boxes of books to take to exchange/sell/whatever at the Wee Book Inn tomorrow.


I found some books that I forgot I had. It was really odd…I’ve read this one book over a dozen times and when I couldn’t find it the last time I went searching for it I thought it was gone…this book is brilliant…Anyone who is searching for their own light will truly enjoy it, so I felt obligated to post about it…


The Sacred Adventures of a Taxi Driver

Witten by Ansara Ali


"...I am taxi driver. I have moved in this world. I am here, there and everywhere. I am hither, thither, and yon. Fiesta, fair, feast, famine, festival, fast of farce, I have been there.

I am taxi driver. The street is my beat yet has not beaten me. It has made me wise, street wise, yet not too wise. I know every corner yet cannot be cornered. I have grown old yet remember youth. I have seen the winter of discontent, yet I cannot forget the springtime of love.

I am taxi driver. I am last yet dream of first. I am lowest yet emulate highest. The cities of this world have captured me, yet I am not captive. The big city is my home, yet I still love the small towns and villages, even the hamlet that sent me forth.

I am taxi driver. I have attended every holiday in this world yet have never taken a holiday. I love the sun yet have walked in the rain. I am attracted to light yet have stumbled in darkness. I am a nobody yet long to be somebody; I have nothing yet pray for something.

I am taxi driver. I have a humble beginning yet yearn for a noble ending. I came from an obscure past yet wish for a bright future. I have faced failure yet never discounted success. I have tasted defeat yet am ever hungry for victory.

I am taxi driver. I am short of breath yet still willing to chance the marathon. I have lived a life of tears, yet you will still catch me with a smile. I am a non Christian yet have always revered the Christ. I became a man of the highway yet never became a highwayman. I am master of my own destiny, yet I am still not master.

I am taxi driver. Are you down? Cheer up! I have come to pick you up. Wherever a child cries in the night, I am there. Wherever a woman weeps in despair, I am there. Wherever a full blown man falters, I am there, too, to pick him up, for picking up is my business.

I am taxi driver. Have you lost your way? Have you missed your ride? Take heart! I have come to show you the way. I have come to give you a ride. I have come to give you a lift - a lift to the stars. RISE!"


I am now going to go curl up and read it one more time.

Ciao

Snow, Shoveling, Whiskey and Social Services.

I went to work again today. I feel like I have been run over by a Mac truck. Every single part of my body hurts, my fever is raging, and to top it all off I am losing my voice. I work for a communications company and right now I can’t communicate.


My bosses are very funny individuals *insert sarcasm here*. Yesterday, every time they talked to me they pressed their fists to their throats and plugged their noses. Today they gave me a white board and a dry erase marker.

Ha.

Ha.

Ha.


Work has sent me home every day this week. The weather network has been forecasting a blizzard and it hit last night. We received 21cm of snow overnight and it was SOOOOO windy that the pictures on my walls were rattling. It made for a rough night. Between the storm and the flu I think I managed to get 2 hours of sleep.


It was MINUS 30’C outside today WITHOUT the wind chill and I still went to work. They keep begging me to come in because they say they can’t function without me and then I get there and they see me and they feel guilty so they send me home. *sighs* It took me almost 2 hours to get there today to have my direct manager take one look at me and say “wow, go home Kris, get some sleep” *bangs head in absolute annoyance* so instead of turning around and coming right home I decided to tough it out and get some things done…then they started with the white board routine and I gave up and left.


The forecast is MINUS 35’C tomorrow, without wind chill. I am phoning in sick and then I am unplugging my phone. I don’t feel good. The antibiotics aren’t working. I think I have to go back to the DR *sighs* on the bright side, Lance isn’t sick yet.


Anyway…on to the real reason for my blog…I told you about the blizzard and the amount of snow and how hard the wind was blowing…so today I get home from work and this young kid who lives in my complex says “Hey! Can I shovel your driveway?” and I said “I was hoping to see you today! Sure you can! Thanks!”


Now, this winter this boy has made a small fortune off of my house. My neighbor went to India for a month so Lance and I were taking care of shoveling his drive way too. I screwed up my shoulder, Lance screwed up his back…enter life saver kid who wants to earn some money for whatever 11 year old boys spend money on. EVERY TIME this kid knocked on my door I gave him $10 and said Thank you!!!!!! and he did both driveways and went along his happy little way.


So, I am thinking that today is no different. The snow was heavier (and the only bill I had in my wallet was a $20) so I gave it to him. He said “wow, really? Are you sure? I can go get change if you want” and I said “no kiddo, its fine, enjoy it! You’re gonna earn it with the 2 drive ways today!” and went inside my house.


Fast forward about 45 minutes. The kid is done shoveling and I get a “ding dong” from my doorbell. There stands a man I’ve never seen before. Ringo starts barking and freaking out. Lately Ringo hates it when men come near the house when Lance isn’t home…he almost ate the TV install man earlier in December *sighs* so I section off Ringo and crack open my door and croak out something that sounded like “yes?”


This guy starts SCREAMING at me. Telling me I am ripping off his kid and making his kid bust his ass for only a few bucks...bla bla bla…this guy went OFFFFFFFFFFFF for about 5 minutes while I just stood there goin “huh???”


It seriously didn’t click with me that this was the snow shoveling kid’s dad (dayQuil is NOT for daytime…don’t believe the packaging...) So, I asked him “what kid are you talking about!?!?” and he says “the one that shovels your drive way, you cheap c**t” (I really hate the *C* word)


This kid has made a FORTUNE off of Lance and me this winter. We NEVER give him spare change. We ALWAYS give him at LEAST $10 because he only comes around when it snows really heavy. He’s shoveled our drive way at LEAST 2 dozen times this winter alone. I gave this kid $20 to shovel snow today. I don’t know what planet this kid’s father came from but that’s A LOT of cash to give to an 11 year old kid for 30 minutes of shoveling. The kid was THRILLED with how much $$$ I gave him to shovel. When I was a kid and felt energetic I used to go door to door shoveling my neighbors driveways and sidewalks. The MOST I EVER got was $6…and it was in nickels. *sighs*


I looked at this enraged idiot and I couldn’t help it. I started to laugh. I told the enraged idiot that he should kindly get his sorry ass off of my property or I was going to release my (snarling, teeth baring, hair standing up on end, lunging at the puppy gate trying to crash it down) dog. (I really don’t know what possesses Ringo to get like that when men come to the door and Lance isn’t home…I think I gotta go to Pet Smart and talk to a trainer) This idiot laughed. I wasn’t really serious about “releasing” Ringo. I don’t want to have to put my dog down because he’s suddenly decided that his role in life is to make sure nothing with a penis (other than Lance) comes anywhere near me.


That’s the moment that Ringo broke the puppy gate down and CHARGED.


OMFG!!!! I thought for sure this is going to end in disaster. I some how managed to grab his collar as he flew past me in full out stretch snarling mode and yanked Ringo back just in time. Ringo BARELY missed this enraged idiot’s face. I yanked the screen door shut and asked the guy if he’d like to continue this conversation (with a sweet smile, of course *smirks*) and he looked at me, looked at the dog, looked at the beautifully shoveled driveway, turned an interesting shade of green and said “no, sorry for disturbing you” and walked away.


I close the door and proceed to sit down on the couch and get myself REALLY worked up about it. I was SOOOOOOOOOO angry. I couldn’t wait until Lance got home from work to bitch about it. I had to call my mom and tell her.


As I am on the phone with my mom, the snow shoveling kid comes back to my door. I tell my mom I’ll call her back and answer my door. The kid looks at me, hands me back my $20 and says “I am really sorry about my dad. He gets like that sometimes” and that’s when I notice he’s got a fat lip and what is starting to look like a swelling eye.


I bring the kid inside (Ringo apparently likes my snow shoveller, and starts to slobber all over him with his tail wagging) and get some ice for his eye and lip and ask him if he’s ok. He just starts to cry. He told me that his dad needed the money for whiskey and that he didn’t earn enough shoveling snow for him to buy some so he got what he deserved for being such a lazy worthless kid.


It broke my heart. Here I was having such a total fit about the whole situation to my mom while this kid was at home getting his ass beaten because he couldn’t earn enough money to get his father drunk. I didn’t know what to do with, or for, this kid so I gave him a hug, made him a cup of hot chocolate and told him he always has a safe place to visit at my house…then the kid got up and ran out the door…Jesus…


I sat down and sobbed, and then I called Satna because I really didn’t know what to do. I wanted to call Social Services. But I also didn’t want to be “involved.” I hope I made the right decision. I did end up calling Social Services and I made a complaint. I hope this kid is going to be OK.


It’s been a rough day.

To Be Free

Do what you love

Do what you fear

Be proud of where you come from

It brought you here.

Explore amazing places

No need to look far

Don’t be afraid to be alone

You never are.

Pursue dreams with fire

Cherish moments that won’t last

Slow down

See the beauty of what’s moving past.

Dance bold, sing loud

There’s wisdom in fun

Be kind, be a hero

Even just for one.

You have rainbows to chase

Places to be

You have choices to make

Choose always

To be free.

World Trade Center - The Movie.

I watched The World Trade Center (movie) today.

For those of you that aren’t aware, I am very emotionally involved in the collapse of the twin towers. I lost Mark’s mom on September 11^th. I lost Mark five years later because of it. I was in NY on September 13^th after taking a grey hound bus across Canada to Toronto and hitch hiking a ride across the border with a Canadian Blood Services team.

I was able to spend a lot of time at ground zero with Mark, Dominic, Toby, Jesse, and Matt (aka: The Boyz) helping to do whatever was needed. I made food, handed out water bottles, DNA tagged body part remains, assisted with first aid for the men and women working in the wreckage, organized WTC security ID cards that were found, helped put up missing posters, helped clean rubbish and scrap metal…and once I was allowed onto the actual wreckage site. I was allowed (with NYFD assistance…) to climb some of the wreckage and just sit and cry surrounded by the insanity of it all. It was like being lost in a world of smoke, fire, and ash, and though there were people working on the site, there was this horrendous silence.

I helped Mark move, packed his apartment which was three blocks away from the WTC site and bought him new furniture for the home on Long Island that I found for him, I carried a leather hide-a-bed couch SIXTEEN bloody blocks because we were not allowed to get a moving van any closer. I planned my 2^nd mom’s funeral and held Mark, Dominic, Jesse, Toby and Matt together as the insane Italians descended.

I have had to spend a lot of time with the insane Italian’s since 9/11 and while I am able to recognize that they are all truly crazy, they are also some of the most amazing people I will ever have the pleasure of knowing and calling “family”. They are the family that I choose, not the family that I was born to, that makes them all the more special.

The first anniversary of September 11^th I went back to New York to be with my Boyz and participate in the memorial service(s). I held Mark’s hand as he climbed the rickety stage stairs and read his mother’s name out loud. I was able to reconnect with some of the true hero’s (and heroine's) I met and worked with and was held closely while I grieved the horrendous loss of it all.

I have lost everything I held dear and true because of the events of 9/11. I will never forget September 11^th or anything that has happened since. It is too soon, and I am still to raw to be objective about the movie I watched today…so without further ado, here are my thoughts about it.

In some ways, watching this movie was almost like watching a cartoon…the graphicness of the buildings collapsing didn’t really seem to affect the actors emotionally. They seemed much removed and not at all emotionally involved.

Maggie Gyllenhaal was a complete disaster in this movie. It was like watching a robot try to be human. It pissed me off.

Michael Pena (aka: Will Jimeno) was…well…almost as bad as Maggie Gylenhaal (who was playing his “wife” in the movie.) but at least made an attempt to stretch his emotional abilities as an actor. It still came off as very poor and weak.

Nicholas Cage…as soon as I heard he was going to be the “lead” (John McLoughlin) in the movie I thought “aww, Jesus…seriously?!?!” and sadly, my opinion hasn’t changed. There was no sense of panic, urgency, despair…nothing…but he did have ONE speech at the very end of the movie that touched me.

“9/11 showed us what human beings are capable of. The evil, yeah sure, but it also brought out the goodness we forgot could exist. People taking care of each other for no other reason than it was the right thing to do. It’s important for us to talk about that good. To remember. Because I saw a lot of it that day”

- Nicholas Cage as John McLoughlin.

I hated the idea of this tragedy being made into a movie, regardless of how tasteful it was done, but I was willing to at least make an attempt to embrace it. I know Hollywood is going to continue to attempt to profit from this insufferable nightmare. I know they will continue to slot pathetic actors and actresses into true hero’s roles and watch them fail miserably. This will be the last movie or gimmick from Hollywood regarding September 11^th that I spend my money on.

Hollywood should’ve asked the REAL hero’s from that day to play the parts. I recognize that most of the men and women who were a part of the initial few days after the Towers fell would most likely not want to be involved in a project attempting to re-create that day. They probably go to sleep with it every night and wake up with it every morning. I know I do.

This movie could’ve been amazing. It could’ve been about the undeniable ability that the human race has to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and continue to lead true, honest, real lives as best as they can. Instead it was about…nothing.

Hollywood made no attempt to show how the world rallied around the events of September 11. They made two very weak attempts to portray how many people from all over the globe came rushing to the aid of New York, Washington, and Pennsylvania. They showed none of the candle light vigils, none of the shocked and horrified people grieving on the streets, only a few of the missing posters from a hospital wall, none of the fire house and police house memorials…they didn’t tap into the emotional investment people felt (and still feel) because of this event. It was all very clinical and much removed.

The only honest and raw part of the movie came at the very end when they ran the NY Port Authority list, the NYFD list, and the NYPD list, of the fallen hero’s from that day.

This movie was made to soon, and it was made badly. No wonder it completely flopped at the box office. I hope the Hollywood money makers take that into consideration the next time they try to exploit something so very painful.

NOT ENOUGH

It is really hard to fathom for me that it has been 1 year since I lost Mark and 8 months since I lost T, J, D, and M.

So much has happened to me and the world at large since they have been gone. I’ve gone back to my Live Journal (see blog roll for link) and read my moved blog entries from that time frame and while I can recognize that I am no longer overwhelmed with grief, I am still very raw.

I wrote this in May 2005, when I learned of T, J, D & M’s deaths. I was still dealing with losing Mark (though all of my entries from that time period were lost when yahoo ate my old ID…*sighs*) and then I got what I deemed to be the final blow...

I want to scream at the top of my lungs and never stop.

I want to run like a lunatic down the street screaming at the top of my lungs.

I want the world to know this kind of devastation.

I want the world to fear this kind of devastation.

I want to hear them all screaming with me as they too suffer this kind of living hell.

I want to be selfish and keep this grief all to myself.

I want to be angry at my friends for leaving me alone.

I want to be angry at the war for taking them from me.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs and never stop.

I want my friends here with me so my screams can turn to laughter.

I want to feel whole again.

I want to wallow in the darkness I am living in.

I want to dance in the light with my friends.

I want to be anywhere but here.

I want to be anyone but me.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs and never stop.

I want to be all these things because all I am is numb.



I am raw. Angry. Lonely. Bewildered. Ashamed. Frightened. Miserable. Rejected. Proud. Useless. Enraged. Incapable. Defeated…I could go on and on…I am a complete contradiction. Once, I had friends who understood me, now I am left to understand myself and that thought terrifies me. Once, I had friends who knew my soul, now I am left to nurture myself without their loving guidance. Once, I had friends who were like brothers. They were closer to me than any sibling I have. They were my family. They were everything to me. There is not a memory of my life that I have that doesn’t include them in some way. I am scared to create a life without them in it. I cannot imagine my life without them in it. At this moment, I cannot imagine life.

I remember every single moment, every single thought, every single feeling, every single…everything. I set out last year to learn how to nurture and love myself. I set out to find a life worth living without them in it. I accomplished so many things. I know they would be proud of the woman I am becoming but it is still NOT ENOUGH.

I still reach for the phone every single day to call them and talk to them. I still email them because I cannot bring myself to remove them from my distribution list. I still talk to their families and share stories, memories, and their suffering. I still talk about them all the time. I still fade into bleakness when I am taken by surprise by a person that reminds me of one of them, or a song on the radio that triggers memories…so many different times throughout every single day I feel besieged with the pain of my loss.

I know I spent a good chunk of 2006 learning how to COPE with loss but at these times it is all I can do to not drown in it. Sometimes I am strong enough to “get over” my feelings rather quickly, other times I can feel myself spiral down into my beautiful blackness.

I miss my friends. I miss my brothers. I miss my life. Time does not make this easier. I know I am sinking now because it is the anniversary of Mark’s death. I can add all the reason and logic into this that I want but it is still NOT ENOUGH. I should’ve waited before taking them to The Rock. I should’ve waited until now. I could be suffering in beauty then. It’s been ONE YEAR and I feel as lost today as I did 365 days ago.

I know it will never truly be ENOUGH. The only way it will be enough is if they could come back to me and life could carry on as was once normal.

How does someone move on, away from, the people who knew her heart the most intimately? How can someone be expected to do that?!?!?!? I truly wish I had the answers to those questions…and to anyone that says “time” I am gonna lose it on you *smiles sweetly*. Time heals nothing. It may make the ache less poignant, but it doesn’t take it away. It doesn’t replace the people. It doesn’t do anything but march on and force you to comply.

I wrote the above almost one year ago. I am still asking myself the exact same questions today. I feel really lost and alone right now. I don’t know if this is ever going to be something I can deal with.

I took a walk today with my puppy love and released five more balloons with personal messages written on them for each of my dearest friends. I released a balloon for me as well. I want to be with my friends so badly. I cannot imagine another fifty years without them. I had to do something to honor their lives today of all days, but it still feels like it is NOT ENOUGH.

Lonestar - Not A Day Goes By



I’ve Got a picture of you I carry in my heart

Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark

Got a memory of you I carry in my soul

I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold

If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine

But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind



Not a day goes by that I don't think of you

After all this time you're still with me it's true

Somehow you remain locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by



I still wait for the phone in the middle of the night

Thinkin' you might call me if your dreams don't turn out right

And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark

Wishin' you were next to me, your head against my heart

If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine

But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind



Not a day goes by that I don't think of you

After all this time you're still with me it's true

Somehow you remain locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by



Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days

Seems it's been forever that I've felt this way



Not a day goes by that I don't think of you

After all this time you're still with me it's true

Somehow you remain locked so deep inside

Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by

Happy New Year!

I hope everyone has had a fabulous start to the new year of 2007.

Lance and I have had a wonderful day. We slept in, made breakfast, watched a movie and then went to “Salute to Vienna” which is a New Years Day Concert held across the world between December 29 – January 5 of each and every year. For more information about Salute to Vienna, please click here: http://www.salutetovienna.com/index.php

At the concert we enjoyed classical Austrian symphony played by the Strauss Symphony of Canada conducted by Gerhard Track, as well as performances by the Vienna International Ballet and Austrian Operetta’s sung by a female soprano and a male tenor. You can see the personal information on each of them here: http://www.salutetovienna.com/stv_edmonton.php

If you are curious about what kind of music was played today, please click the MP3 player at the top of this blog entry. I have uploaded a few composures that were featured in the concert today.

We sang Edelweiss and Auld Lang Syne arm in arm with the 10,000+ sold out crowd. We clapped until our arms were numb and clapped some more. The conductor was one of the classiest gentlemen I have ever had the pleasure of being near. He was cultured and dignified, yet he was not pretentious, he made the audience laugh all afternoon with his stories. The Symphony was powerful and soft all at the same time. The Soprano brought tears to my eyes and the raw amazing power of the tenor was breathtaking. The ballet company was the epitome of grace and loveliness. It was a magical afternoon.

After the concert we went out for dinner and relaxed with a bottle of wine and some really good Italian food. We laughed and talked and laughed some more.

Thank you, Lance, for taking me to see this amazing concert again this year. I am so glad we are forming our own traditions. I cannot wait until January 1, 2008 when we get to go “back to Vienna” and experience this again. I love you baby.

Today was a beautiful & wondrous way to start 2007. I hope this finds you all smiling and finding wonder in the beauty of life.