Wii

We bought a Wii.

OMG.

this thing is worth EVERY penny. It is SOOOOOOOOOOO much fun. A lot of our friends have Wii's so we are all now hosting "Wii like to party" nights. The only rule for attending is "BYOC" (Bring Your Own Controller *lol*)

Last night Lance & I went to our first Wii party. It was just hysterically funny...and boxing is a work out and a half. Today we tore apart the city (6 stores later!!) to find our own Wii console.

It's been Five hours since we found the Wii console and I cant move my right arm real well at the moment...I'll let you know when I get feeling back in it...*lol*

Just a tip for all you beginner Wii'er's out there...REMOVE THE AREA RUGS!!! My ass really hurts...BUT I KO'd Lance in boxing with three hits!!!*lolol*

Whats the WORST that could happen?

Is human caused Global Climate Change real?

Below is an argument that makes the above question a moot point. Please watch the video and take a few minutes to think about something that IS important.

Would you rather GUESS between rows or CHOOSE between columns?

Now that you've seen the video, can you find fault with the logical argument presented?

What do you currently do to protect our fragile environment?

• Do you drive a Hybrid?
• Do you take public transportation to work or involve yourself in a car pool situation?
• Do you use energy efficient (though ridiculously expensive) lightbulbs?
• Do you recycle everything that you possibly can?
• Do you give back to the earth by planting trees/flowers etc?
• Do you donate your time (and/or money) to the many organizations in place that are currently fighting this "battle"?
• Do you do anything else not listed above?

It is so easy to get caught up in your own daily living situations.

It is so easy to get emotionally invested in your online situations.

Why can we not pour more energy into things that are truly important?

Simple Reminders

View...and think...

...It can and will happen to anyone...

...The Power of being Positive

...Remember to take care of yourselves.

There are no words.

I am so freekin angry at Lance right now I could quite happily …never mind…I refuse to finish that train of thought.

My boy has an inability to retain anything. He also has an inability to remember where anything of his was placed even when he placed it there. Long story short, he loses EVERYTHING.

This past week alone:
We (meaning he) have had to have a tow truck unlock the keys from inside the vehicle THREE times. $60 a pop. It's getting ridiculous.
We (meaning he) have had to replace his “work wardrobe” because he cannot remember what company he sent his work shirts too to be cleaned…Jesus I wish I was kidding…$45 a shirt times 10 shirts. Three days after he bought his new "wardrobe" the cleaners called him and asked when he was coming to pick up his clothing...

Now he calls me from work and says “Babe, is my wallet on the island in the kitchen?”
Give me strength. I trash the house and the car. I searched EVERYWHERE and his bloody wallet is nowhere to be found. I know he had it this morning when he went to work because I watched him put it in his back pocket. I reiterate that to him. He comes back with “oh…maybe it’s at the place we went for lunch then?” (Apparently he and the guys from work ate out today…) so I say “CALL THEM NOW!” and he says “I will when I get off work, I am really busy right now”

OMFG. Seriously. I don’t want to complete my thought process about what I would really like to do to him right now.

He has 5 credit cards in his bloody wallet. His bank card to our accounts is also there, with the PIN # written on a piece of paper wrapped around it because he can never remember the damn pin and he locks the bank account every time he tries to do anything because he guesses the wrong pin too many times…anyway…FFS. ALL of that shit has to be changed, cancelled, and stopped IMMEDIATLEY.

So, trying not to loose my ever loving mind, because really, that’s what my blog is for *lol*, I offer to call the restaurant where they had lunch. He says “well, it wasn’t really a restaurant”
OK, IF YOU WENT OUT TO EAT, AND IT WASN’T A RESTAURANT, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO??????

My exact words….slowly but surely losing my patience now.

He comes back with “don’t be mad, but Crazy Horse has a great lunch buffet…”…now crazy horse is a strip club. Personally, I don’t give a fuck that he was at a strip club. As long as it was a view only “event”, I really don’t care. What pisses me off is that he tried to hide it from me by weaseling around the truth and hedging with the “honey…baby…don’t be mad…” bullshit.
So. He lost his wallet. I called the bloody strip club and they haven’t seen it. I called the banks, I called the credit card companies, I called everyone and got all of our financial things protected and then…oh yes, it gets better….and THEN he calls me and says “I found my wallet, it was in my pocket”

OMFG.

There are no words.

Stand

Rascal Flatts – Stand.

You feel like a candle in a hurricane

Just like a picture with a broken frame

Alone and helpless, like you've lost your fight

But you'll be alright, you'll be alright



Chorus:

'Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what your made of

You might bend 'til you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe you hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand



Life's like a novel with end ripped out

The edge of a canyon with only one way down

Take what your given before it's gone

And start holdin' on, keep holdin' on



(Repeat chorus)



Every time you get up and get back in the race

One more small piece of you starts to fall into place - yeah



(Repeat chorus)



Yeah then you stand - yeah

Yeah, baby

Woo hoo, Woo hoo, Woo hoo

Then you stand - yeah, yeah

Changes

I’ve got news!!
I’ve got BIG news!!!
I got another promotion at work yesterday. It appears the Executives I support feel that “my knowledge and understanding is being underutilized” and as their intuitions strongly agree with my analysis of the situation, I am inclined to agree.

So, with their highly trained minds at work, they decided that I should go back to school and obtain my Business Administration Human Resource Management degree. To sum it up in a nut shell, they have decided that I should be the Labor Relations specialist for our entire business unit. Our business unit employs over 15,000 people. We currently do not have a Labor Relations Specialist because HR doesn’t have the head count necessary or a person with the specified education requirements for us to have one. Our business unit has been “winging it” ever since the new collective agreement took effect in November 2005 and for the past year, I’ve been the one “winging it” all on my own.

As a Labor Relations Specialist (reading this directly from the hiring letter I received) I will be responsible for: Organizational Behavior, Organizational Management, Recruitment and Selection, Compensation Management, Strategic Management, Collective Agreement for bargaining unit and non bargaining unit employees. Among other tasks that may or may not include: Accounting, Business Law, Business Communications, and Public Relations.

HOLY CRAP. That’s all my brain can process right now. It just keeps repeating the same two words over n over. I feel overwhelmed and proud all at the same time. To have the CEO of a company look at you and say “You are capable of bigger and better things and I am going to help you get there” is amazing. It was a board room meeting I will never forget.

I keep looking back at where I was a year ago. I had just finished group therapy and I was just starting to figure myself and my life out. I was tentative and scared. I feel so strong and capable now. The complete turn around is truly mind blowing and knowing I am the one who turned it around with very little outside help is something I will forever feel accomplished for doing.
There is good news and bad new to this new career development.

The good news is my employer will PAY for my education. The bad news is they will only pay for it after the courses required to obtain the degree have been finished with a successful 65% or higher pass mark.

The good news is that my salary has increased dramatically. The bad news is that the taxes are going to kill me *lol*

The good news is that I now have a career with a company that will keep me gainfully employed for the rest of my life. The bad news is I may miss out on other opportunities in my career life due to becoming comfortable at my current employer.

The bad news is I have to hand over the team I currently support and help manage to someone that they haven’t even hired yet. There is no good news with this. I truly love the team I work with. The team of people (for the most part) are fabulous and the atmosphere is always a lot of fun. I know I will still have interactions with them in my new role(s) but it will never be the same.

The good and bad news is that I start my position on Monday. They are not waiting until I obtain the degree before putting me in the job function. They are not waiting until they have hired a replacement for me and I have had some time to train him/her. That has its drawbacks as I will be doing a job I know very little about on a scale that is monumental and I will also be performing key duties for the team I am leaving behind until I am replaced. It speaks to their confidence in me and my ability, but it also puts a lot of stress and pressure on me. I know there will be MANY situations and issues that I will not have the knowledge to deal with and that worries me.

The good news is that my contract of employment now includes a clause that states I cannot and will not be demoted or terminated for NOT knowing how to deal with any issue, problem or perform any specific job function(s) without having the necessary training, job assistance, and educational background….which basically means they can’t get frustrated and fire me because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

I’ve filled out the application forms, I’ve been accepted for the winter term (starting January 2008) and I have also been awarded the necessary funds to obtain the degree from my bank by the means of a personal line of credit for education (which means I don’t have to pay anything on it until 6 months after I graduate and complete the degree)

I am ready to go. I am terrified to go.

In other news…
I had a CT scan today to see how the clots in my lungs are doing. The results of that should be available within 3-5 business days and my family DR will call me when he has them…if the clots are still there he is sending me to a hematologist.

The probate has finally passed on my Boyz’ personal effects and financial matters. All of their debts have been paid off and all of their contractual financial obligations have been met. The lawyers have informed me that all of the willed belongings have been distributed to the appropriate family members and that the financial willed matters are being attended to right now. They advised me of the amount of $$ I am due to inherit from the collective five of them. I will not give the total, but lets just say, they have left me very nicely well off. It saddens me to think that way. It’s not like they were old and dodgy and some relative I rarely spoke to…they are my best friends. I know they wanted me to be taken care of and to ensure that my stability will never be an issue…but Jesus. I would give every single bloody penny back for just one more day with them. Time has passed but my heart still aches.

My sister – Kim – has had another MRI and it shows that there is still growth on her nodes…which means that the MS could (and probably will) come back just as destructive as it did the first time. Her soon to be ex husband is now fighting for sole child support based on the most recent MRI scan.

I no longer work with my father!!!!!! w00t!!!!!!! The company FINALLY gave him a settlement package for early retirement being that he is set to fully retire in June 2008. His last day was Thursday of last week.

Lance and I are doing great. We are still in the discussion stages of parenthood. I think with having to go back to school and obtain a degree that those discussions are going to be put on hold. I don’t want to have to try to learn my job, go to school, and have a baby all at the same time. I know what I am capable of managing and a child just doesn’t fit the pattern right now. That doesn’t mean that we will stop the fun part of practicing baby making techniques *grinz*

Life is moving along…things are crazy…but things are really good.

Six Years

Six years.
Three Hundred and Twelve weeks.
Two Thousand One hundred and Ninety days.
Fifty Two Thousand Five Hundred and Sixty Minutes.
A lifetime.
A mere moment.
Time passes so quickly.
I am thankful that my memories are enduring.
My Fallen Family, know that you are all thought about and loved.

Vacation Pics

Here ya go...pics from our vacation

In Memoriam

Strange as it may seem to be, only yesterday it was reported that the British School system has been ordered to cease teaching about the Holocaust since it offends the nature of the Muslim citizens. AND THEY DID IT! God Save the Queen....

Think about it.

We cannot, we must not, ever forget what happened in Europe over 60 years ago, because it could happen again. Anyone, any group, could be the target. It has been said that those who refuse to study history are doomed to repeat it. In this case, those who are attempting to rewrite history are probably planning to repeat it!

The hatred is already there, in place, taught to the children from infancy, with promises of glory and honor to those who carry out the plans. Forewarned is forearmed, and I'm doing my small part by posting this message. I hope you'll do the same. Make sure your children and grandchildren understand this too.

It is now more than 60 years after the Second World War in Europe ended. This is a memorial chain, in memory of the six million Jews, 20 million Russians, 10 million Christians and 1,900 Catholic priests who were murdered, massacred, raped, burned, starved and humiliated with the German and Russia peoples looking the other way!



Now, more than ever, with Iran, among others, claiming the Holocaust to be "a myth," it is imperative to make sure the world never forgets, because the Islamo-Facists want to do it again.

Incidentally, Mohammed is the second most common name currently being registered in the UK for new births.

Discussions of Parenthood

Lance and I have officially entered into the discussion of parenthood.

For some unknown and warped reason my body reacts with longing to every baby I come across. I try to take my nephew Ty every chance I get...and it kills me to give him back. After dropping Ty off I come home and cry. Lance holds me and promises me that we will have our own babies one day.

Mentally I know that...well, I think I know...ok, maybe I'm just guessing and trying to find meaning into this...whatever...anyway...I know that the decision Lance & I made last year to terminate our pregnancy was right for us at the time, but I think now and wonder...In July 2006 I was almost 3 months pregnant...which means January 2007 I would've given birth to our child...which means our child would've been 7-8 months old right now...He/She would be figuring out how to crawl and speak his/her first words...I think I regret the decision that we made.

I think I regret the decision that we made...but I think we made the right decision. It has been a big year for us as a couple. As a couple we have only been together for 2 years and 2 months...26 months...that doesnt seem like a long period of time when thought about like that...In the past year we have bought a house, a new car, changed jobs, got promotions, got pay raises, found time to train our dog, reconnected with friends old and new, taken up hobbies together and apart, done alot of home owner things - like paint, buy appliances, landscape- and have truly started to enjoy our life and each other. How can I regret a good decision that was made because of bad timing? because that is ultimatley what I am doing.

I just turned 30 in May. I've never felt my biological clock before but hot damn do I feel it now. I turn into a playing, stupid face making, giggling and tickling, baby smelling hormonal idiot when I am around babies now.

I know within my heart that Lance is everything I have ever wanted and needed. He has been my rock, my confidant, my best friend, my partner in crime, my laughter, and on my darkest days he has been my light. Grateful is such a weak word to describe how blessed I feel to have him in my life. I love that man passionatley and dearly.

For the first time in my life I am able to say I am truly deeply happy. Happiness is always described using fleeting moments of life and using reflection of memories. The happiness I feel on a daily basis cant be described like that. Sometimes I dont know what to do with myself because habits of old are still rearing their ugly heads and I am on constant alert, just waiting for the other shoe to drop....and everyday I am stunned over and over again because I am still blissfully happy. I go to sleep with a smile on my face and I wake up the same way.

I think I am falling back into too many patterns by creating chaos where none existed. I know deep within every fiber of my being that I was not ready a year ago to carry a child and raise it. I know there were health issues with pre-eclampsia and toximia and that is why I was advised medically to terminate or go on 7+ months of bed rest. I also remember where I was mentally a year ago and I KNOW that I was no where near ready to even contemplate being a parent.

I want to be a mom. I want this magical fairy tale that has somehow miraculously come true for me (and Lance) to continue growing and evolving. I know within my soul now that I have tamed my "demons" and I have come to peaceful resolutions inside myself and with my family and friends. I know I have a solid support system now and that I am surrounded by people that love me, love Lance, and love us together. I also still have Satna and Noel who I speak to on a semi-unregular basis. I really did leave that program with the tools required to deal with whatever life may throw at me. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, and if given the choice to go back and do it all over again, I would.

Lance and I are going away August 24 - Sept 4, just the 2 of us, and we plan to continue talking and planning and dreaming about becoming parents. I love this man because he dreams with me. I love this man because we value and desire the same goals in life. I love this man because his strengths are my weaknesses and I know that I can count on him to be there. I love this man because he makes me laugh. I love this man because he is gentle, kind, compassionate, and truly good. I want to have this mans baby. I want to watch him play with his child and help his child and teach his child the values and lessons in life. I want to be a mom.

I plan on going to the support group on Friday just so I can talk about this with Satna and Noel. I need to know if this is something tangible and obtainable in the immediate future or if I am just conjecturing regret from the termination last year. I dont quite know where all of my immediate thoughts about wanting to become a mom are coming from. I need the questions inside my own head answered before Lance and I will start to "try" to make a baby.

I also have to talk to my doctor's and determine if I am healthy enough to try to make and carry a child right now. I still have clots on my lungs, though the latest X-ray shows they are decreasing in size and matter. What used to look like white blobs all over my lungs now looks like a white blob here and there on my lungs. The medication is working and so are the herbal remedies I have tried. For that I am thankful.

Lance and I have officially entered into the discussion of parenthood.

We've also started to really talk about marriage. We've decided that we want a destination wedding somewhere warm in non-hurricane season. We want to be married before we have a baby. At least something in this relationship has to be in a "normal" order *lol* The wedding will be tropical, if you want to come party on the beach with us you are more than welcome *grinz*

Excavating Your Authentic Self

Something More, Excavating Your Authentic Self

By: Sarah Ban Breathnach.

“Many of us confuse happiness and joy. Happiness is often triggered by external events, events we usually have no control over – you get the promotion, he loves you back, they approve your mortgage loan. Happiness camouflages a lot of fears.”

“Joy is the absence of fear. Joy is your soul’s knowledge that if you don’t get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it’s because you weren’t meant to. You’re meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More. Joy is where your life began, with your first cry. Joy is your birthright.”

“Most of us unconsciously create dramas in our minds, automatically expecting the worst from every situation, only to have our negative expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies. Inadvertently, we become authors of our own misfortune.”

“Our authenticity is found hidden in the small details of our daily life – home, family, work, pleasures. We think that it is the big moments that define our lives – the wedding, the baby, the new house, and the dream job. But really, these big moments of happiness are just the punctuation marks of our personal sagas. The narrative is written every day in the small, the simple, and the common; in tiny choices, in tiny changes; in the unconsidered; the overlooked; the discarded; the reclaimed.

“Consider for a moment that there are only three ways to change the trajectory of our lives for better or worse: crisis, chance and choice. You may not realize it, but your life at this exact moment is a direct result of choices you made once upon a time. Thirty minutes or thirty years ago.”

“Our choices can be conscious or unconscious. Conscious choice is creative, the heart of authenticity. Unconscious choice is destructive, the heel of self-abuse. Unconscious choice is how we end up living other peoples lives.”

“The reason we are terrified of making choices, even little ones, is that we’re convinced we’ll make a wrong one. Again. If you’re anything like most of us, a lot of wrong choices got you where you are today and continue to keep you there. But a wrong choice isn’t necessarily a bad choice. You married the wrong man. You didn’t finish college. If you had, your life would be different, but not necessarily better.”

“When we talk about Something More, it isn’t wanting a fancier car, a bigger house, or a designer dress. Something More is what we need to fill our spiritual hunger. You don’t want Something More, you need it. You feel deep within that something crucial is missing. You’re constantly looking for it, but since you don’t know what it is, the best you can do is hope that if you run across it, you’ll recognize or remember it.”

“Though we accomplish much of what we set out to do, we sense that something is missing in our lives and search ‘out there’ for answers. What’s often wrong is that we are disconnected from an authentic sense of self.”

So which is worse, regretting what you did -- or regretting what you didn't do? Wanting something more is really wanting a life of no regrets. Or at least no more regrets than we can die with peacefully. Regret is the only wound from which the soul never recovers. If I died tonight, what would I regret not having done today? Is there one small action that I can take to nurture my new dreams toward their fruition?

If I should be blessed with tomorrow, is there a choice that I can make, need to make, or want to make that could enhance the quality of my life? Is there one I'm postponing because it is difficult or painful? If I ignore it, will it be the regret I take with me?

You don't have to have a bad marriage to want a better one.
You don't have to have a bad job to want to find your calling.
You don't have to be miserable before you feel you deserve to be truly happy.
All you need to know is that searching for something more is settling for nothing less than you deserve.
Admitting that you want something more in your life is the first step in starting over, in discovering what that something more is for you.

P'Taah: The Gift

P'Taah: The Gift
Channeled by Jani King.

Ok, I will be the first one to admit that buying a book that was "channeled by" someone was not what I had in mind when I went to the book store with Ananda after our Self Discovery Workshop, but it captivated my attention when I started flipping thru it.

Like Bach's book "Illusions", it uses profound statements to stimulate and challenge our thought processes. In fact, it is a book full of statements and nothing more - It could almost be looked at as a "Messiah Handbook". It reads like a novel, from page to page, it takes you on a journey to find the centre of your own spirit.

By the time I finished this book I was laughing through my tears and it occurred to me that it really didn’t matter whether Jani King really did "channel" the New Zealand born King P'taah or whether she just has the brilliant insight all on her own. I felt compelled to share this with you. The entry had to be made on two seperate blog entries. Feel free to place your thoughts, comments, or anything else on either entry.


۞ These words are given forth as a gift to you, each one of you; you who I love absolutely; you who make my heart sing; you, who be a wondrous aspect of who I AM. These words are simply to remind you of what you really already know.

I will speak to you, in these pages to follow, about fourth density or Oneness, and the fact of the Earth and all which exists upon and within Her coming into a collective time of transition. However, be aware that each of you is on your own journey. Each of you is the central Sun of your universe and that the transition is your individual choice, to come to know who you are, NOW.

-P’taah-


۞ That very tiny fragment of you, which yearns for enlightenment, which yearns to Come Home, is the very tiny fragment of you which does not know that you are already enlightened and already at Home within the Divinity called God I AM.


۞ There is really only one question: Who am i? There is really only one answer: I am an extension of the Mind of Creation experiencing itself in this dimension of perceived reality.


۞ Know that you create your reality absolutely. Who you are is a grand and multi-dimensional Master of Creation, creating all the excitement and dramatic scenarios of your life, day-by-day, simply for the experience of it all. You have co-created the circumstances of your own birthing, your family, your race and socio-economic circumstances. All of this you have created, each lifetime, so that you may garner every experience available to humankind on this plane of reality. The universe does not judge these experiences, however they may be.

They simply exist in the IS-NESS of now, in every NOW you may create whatever you desire.


۞ There is an idea within the mind of man that there are Grand Teachers to come forth to teach wisdom, to teach you to find your Divinity. There is also the thought that you may go forth to other places and other planets to be taught, in some future time, how to know who you really are and how to ‘fix’ the maladies of your heart. We tell you no one can teach you. You are already your own Grand Teacher and are as divine as you will ever be. If you are looking to be perfect at some future time, then it will always be in the future. You only have now.


۞ Unity on your earth may occur only when you will grant equality and validity to the diversity which exists within your peoples. This does not mean that you must be in agreement, or that you should all be the same. It is to recognize that each person, each idea is a unique flavor of the Mind of Creation.


۞ As you have perceived yourself to be separate from the All That Is, so you have created ‘need’ to fill the void of separation. As you allow yourself to recognize the God-Goddess of you and be filled with the joy and peace of WHOLENESS, so you will discover that you have no need at all; that the outward material and emotional manifestations of your life will reflect, automatically, that fullness, without any struggle or strain at all.


۞ Oh my Dear One, how abundant you truly are.Do you not realize that abundance is not something you must go out and find? It is who you ARE. The abundance of the universe is within you. It IS YOU. The glorious expectancy of the dawn, with it shades of silver, pink and lavender, is yours. The fire of the sunset is the passion of your life. The song of the birds, which helps the trees to grow, is also the song of your soul. As you gaze out onto your world and give fervent thanks for this abundance, which is part of you; as you feel the joy of abundance fill your heart, how can you not show forth abundance in your day to day life? When you are in fear of lack, be still and be filled with the richness, excitement and abundance of BEING.


۞ Relationships, no matter what kind, are on outward picture for you to gauge the relationship you have with aspects of you. When your relationships are not harmonious, when you feel threatened, diminished, betrayed, not enough, or abandoned, it is simply that you are in a place of fear and have a need to look at what you believe about who you are. As you embrace the fear that you are not worthy of love, or loving, a new attitude towards yourself emerges, and the tenor of your relationships changes to reflect a new self-love.


۞ Fear has come about in your forgetting who you are. You have forgotten that who you really are is an aspect of the God-Goddess expressing Itself, however that may be, in the vibrancy of this reality. There is no such thing as releasing fear or hiding from it. Fear is valid. There is nothing wrong with fear. It is the polarity of LOVE. The way to transform fear is to step into it, embrace it. You may picture fear as the child within you who is terrified of being unworthy of love, joy, abundance and laughter, doomed to abandonment, dying of a broken heart. As you hold the child to your heart say: “Beloved of my heart, I love you with every part of my being. You are not alone. We live in a safe universe, you and I, and together we are going home.” Thusly, you transform the fear to LOVE.


۞ What is God? Rather you might ask yourself, “What is not God?” God-Goddess, the Mind of Creation, the All That Is, you may say is another description of love and that is the glue which holds the multi-verses together. Without this energy force, this Light of Creation, there is no life, no existence. Every cell, every molecule, every sub-atomic particle shines with its own God-light. As you honor who you are as an embodiment of God-light, how can you not honor everything and everyone in your universe as a non-separate part of that same Light?


۞ A Universal Law: what you resist persists. This simply means that as you put forth energy in resistance the universe, without judgment, will support you absolutely and will give you more of what you are putting your energy into.


۞ Love is simply another word for God-Goddess. When you express love to others, you are expressing the God-Goddess of you. This is immediately recognized by the others, because it resonates to their own God-Goddess. This LOVE is who you all really are.


۞ You every action, every thought, every situation is your own creation. To deny this truth is to admit that you do not know who you are.


۞ Let us speak to you or your pain, my Beloved. Pain is resistance to feeling and created from your judgment: your judgment of yourself, your situation and the co-creators of that situation. Yet judgment is also a Divine attribute of your being. It exists to how you WHERE you are and HOW you are NOW. It is simply to align your judgment by acknowledging it, allowing it, feeling it. Be still and feel. Your judgment is now neutralized and your pain is transmuted.


۞ You have created yourself here and now to take part in the transformation of your world. This transformation is a shift in consciousness not only of humanity, but of the planet Herself and everything upon and within Her. Sometimes you become afraid that in this shift you will lose those who are dear to you who are perhaps not as consciously aware as you. Beloved, we would remind you that this change is about LOVE, and love is non-separation. You will lose nothing and no one.


۞ Your mission in life is simply to come to know who you really are. Everything else is a game wherein you may monitor your own progress. There is nothing to DO. You exist in your absolute perfection every now moment. You are an exquisite jewel of creation NOW, not when you have changed all of the parts of you that you judge to be unlovable. You want to do great deeds, to be of grand service to humanity, but we tell you that the greatest service is to come into the realization that simply by BEING is the love and honor of who you really are, you change the consciousness of all humanity. Thusly, you will light up your world. Can there be a greater service?


۞ The diversity of teachings in your world are understandably sometimes quite confusing for you. there are so many stories of light entities and dark entities, implants and conspiracies, rites and rituals, and do’s and don’ts. There are stories about the evils of man which you must atone for and methodologies to which you must adhere in order to become enlightened. The list could go on and on. However, the truth is that you are your own power-sourceness. You are a sovereign being. The enlightenment you seek is already within you, as is the knowledge of the multi-verses. If you want to give your power away, then it is your sovereign right to do so. You have been doing it for eons. If anyone tells you “you can only do it this way” bless them and turn away. If what anyone tells you is fear based, fear inducing, or in any way limited or limiting, bless them and turn away.


۞ There is no judgment in the universe apart from that judgment you have about yourself. Every time you sit in judgment of anyone or anything outside of yourself, it is really you whom you judge. There will never be a time when you are called to a higher judgment. Very often in your day-by-day life you find yourself in judgment, and then you judge the judgment. What a double blind! Well, that is alright. Just remind yourself that judgment itself is an attribute of divinity. It is your yardstick. It is your monitor by which you may gauge your own beliefs and fears in that now moment. Give thanks for this. From the judgment you may grow.


۞ Beloved, your longing for the fourth dimension, or Ascension, or any reality apart from this, is simply the measure of your dissatisfaction with the NOW. Until you come to the joy and fulfillment of this life, loving your exquisite planet, healing the anguished heart, aligning the fears that keep you imprisoned, living in the excitement and fullness of each moment without a past or a future, this dimension is all you can know. There is no escape. That is the dichotomy: As you live in the joy and harmony of this life experiencing without desiring any other, you automatically create the space to experience that expanded reality called Fourth Density, called Ascension, called ONENESS.


۞ All of humanity was star-seeded. Many of you are quite comfortable with that knowing at this time. Indeed, many of you feel that you are not “at home” on this planet and feel a longing to return from whence you came. Some of you consult seers and teachers to find out where “home” really is. I will tell you: Home is the place within you that knows itself to be in non-separation from anyone anywhere. It does not matter where you are from. It is not important. It will not help you. It is another diversion to keep you away from feeling, from examining your beliefs and fears. You have created yourselves here in this time and place to become all that you can be in this reality. There is nothing else.


۞ Your ego was designed to be the sensor of exterior life. You cannot get rid of it or sublimate it. Indeed, as you try to do so, the old law of the universe which states “what you resist, persists” will bring the ego into a stronger and stronger position. Yet your ego is a most valuable aspect of you. It is merely to being it into balance. When you find yourself heartily in defense of yourself, know that the ego is in fear of the judgment of others. Just be still. Go to the fear and embrace the child within you who is afraid. Also, it is to remind yourself that what anyone thinks of you is none of your business.


۞ Life is meant to be easy. Your life is meant to be of love and laughter, abundance and fulfillment. What keeps you from these things is your old emotional baggage, your belief about reality, and your fear that you are not worthy. Every time you find yourself in a struggle you are in a place of fear. Each time you refuse to deal with an emotional issue in the now moment you are adding to your emotional baggage. If you will not examine your belief structures and fears and deal with the emotions, you limit yourself to a most confining prison. Each NOW is another opportunity for you to choose how it may be for you.


۞ The preoccupation with what is right or wrong for you to eat is not necessary. Your health is not dependant upon it. That which is the beingness of flora and fauna, in a way, is co-created by you and by the other flora and fauna for your nourishment, both physical and spiritual. The nourishment is gained by you giving forth thanks for what is provided to the Spirit of that which is ingested. In the opening of your heart and giving thanks, you cause the enlightenment of the food, the enlightenment of the spiritual ‘body’ of the food, and in the giving forth of thanks you are also creating the enlightenment of your physical structure.


۞ Dear One: Forgiveness is a concept of limitation. Does this sound strange to you? Well you see, in the broader sense of things, no on ever ‘did’ anything to you. You create your own reality absolutely. Everything in your life you have created, or co-created, and you have done so for your greatest spiritual growth, whether or not you accept it as such. Understand that every situation is a learning process for the benefit of all peoples concerned, to help you grow in love, honor, sovereignty and compassion.


۞ The natural inclination of your consciousness is to turn toward the spiritual truths which reflect the Divinity you really are. They natural inclination of your physical body is to shine forth with radiant health, reflecting the Divinity which is the life force within every cell. Every part of you yearns to bask in the light of that Divinity, called love, in the same fashion that a flower turns irresistibly to the light of the sun.


۞ There is no such things as extraneous creation, or parts of creation that should not be, or that do not fit into your reality. If something exists it is as valid an anything else, or it would have no existence.


۞ Guilt, Beloved one, is simply a lesson learned. Yet you have always done the best you could in the only way you knew how. There is no judgment. As you come into this more unlimited way of thinking, as you come to embrace the fears, align the judgments, and transmute the pain, you will find that guilt will simply fade away. You will not need to repeat the lesson!


۞ You have a most amusing saying in your world: “Time is what stops everything occurring at the same time.” This is valid. You may say that when you are birthed, you are birthed into a time-lock, and what you experience in that time-lock are the separate events called life. You may say that time is a referencing point. Then you experience what you call death and after a period of other-reality experience you may choose to come back to this reality, in another time-lock for yet another ‘life.’ However, in a more expanded sense, time is simply an illusion. Outside of this space-time continuum all of the lifetimes occur simultaneously, each in their own glorious NOW.


۞ It simply does not matter who you were in your past lives, or what glorious or terrible deeds you performed, or with whom. The only importance in your life is NOW. It does not matter what occurred in your life yesterday or last year. Whatever has occurred which is not aligned will be presented to you and re-presented continually until you do align it. It does not even matter what the ‘story’ of the external event consists of. You will notice that what will be re-occurring, no matter what the story, will be the same FEELING. As you go to the feeling, in allowance and embracement of the fears, in the NOW moment you effect the change into alignment, not only in this life, but in what you call your past and your future lives, as all the lifetimes are occurring simultaneously.


۞ Love is the Alpha and Omega of your life. Without it you cannot survive. Love is what fills the empty space within you. As you become filled with the love of who you are, in the knowing that you are an aspect of the God-Goddess, so you radiate that love to all about you. From this place of being, all that you will be able to perceive will be the reflection of that love shining back at you. Oh my Beloved, what wondrousness indeed!


۞ It is time for you to learn to listen to the knowing within you. When you find yourself in a muddle, simply be still and ask from the God-Goddess of your own being, to allow the wisdom and knowing to float into your consciousness. Sometimes you invalidate your knowing because the answers do not seem to make sense to you, or indeed, the answer is not the one the ego wants to hear. It is to remember that your logical conscious mind is most often not aware of the larger scheme of things, whereas the greater part of who you are knows all of the probabilities and indeed, knows that which will be of the most benefit to you.


۞ Go forth and do what makes your heart sing. Please note that we do say ‘heart’, not ‘ego.’ You will find that simply to gratify the ego will not bring you the fulfillment you desire, nor will it fill the emptiness within you. Sometimes it is difficult for you to know the difference between heart and ego. What which is of the heart is that which is of benefit to all people concerned in a decision. How do you know what is a benefit when you do not have an overview? Simply be still and ask yourself, then listen to the feeling. The feeling of peace and comfort is your answer.


۞ Angels and Guides are valid. However, know that the greater spiritual beingness of you occupies all of the dimensions simultaneously. At another level you are also angels and guides. Therefore, it is of the utmost benefit if you will understand that it is, in that place of non-separation, all part of your own soul energy. Instead of calling on an outside authority, call upon the unlimited eternal I AM. In this fashion you strengthen your own power sourceness.


۞ Simplicity, Dear One, that is the key. Keep it Simple! If you feel joyous then go with the flow of it. If it is not harmonious, be still. Examine the beliefs you have about the situation. Go to the feeling, embrace the fear and transmute the pain. Everything else is just a story.


۞ As you grow in awareness and expand your consciousness you will find that your view of the world also expands. As you view the dramas and pain and anguish of your brothers and sisters it is important that you balance detachment and compassion. It is to be in that place of support, open heartedness and unconditional love; to show forth tenderness and giving of yourself, without becoming hooked into the story; without reinforcing feelings of victimhood or powerlessness.


۞ Know, my Beloved, that you have never made a wrong decision or choice in your life. Everything that you have ever done has brought you to this place, this NOW of new knowledge, new choice-points and new opportunity. You have never, nor will you ever, be judged and condemned for anything you have done. Everything is simply a learning experience for you to come to the knowing that you are God-Goddess made manifest in your perceived reality; to come from separation to ONENESS in this perfect and eternal NOW.


۞ Self honesty is a tool without with you will find it very difficult to grow. Without it, you will find that you disguise and dress up the reasons for your actions and reactions in order to feel acceptable and worthy to yourself and others. By being honest with yourself you have the most wonderful tool to discover your secret fears and hidden beliefs about yourself and your reality. In the embracement of those fears you become centered and strong. This is called sovereignty, from whence come your creative choice points to grow into your own power.


۞ To be honest with others about who you are, to speak your truth, is to be vulnerable. Vulnerability if the most powerful place of being. It is that place where there can be no dissension. It is also the most fearful of place for many of you, because you fear judgment. You fear that if you open your heart, someone will put a knife in it. The reality is that when you speak forth your truth you are really allowing the merging of hearts to take place because vulnerability is irresistible. When you find that there is truly nothing to defend, your ego has taken a back seat and your heart is driving you to a place of non-separation.


۞ You ask about trust, Dear One. Well, think about how you trust yourself. How much do you trust that you are an eternal, unlimited Being who has the knowledge of the multi-verses within you? How much do you trust that whatever experiences you bring forth are opportunities for you to expand into the Light; that the greater part of who you are, with the universe, supports and nourishes you absolutely, if you will allow it? When you trust your own Being the question of trusting others does not arise.


۞ You ask: “How can I trust?” We say to you that you have unlimited trust, which you experience every day of your life. You trust that the sin will rise each day. Trust is what creates your reality. Doubt is your trust that the outcome will be negative. You may change that belief.


۞ Honor who you are and in the doing you cannot but honor every aspect of Creation. What does that mean, really? It is simply that as you come to know that who you are is a spark of the Divine Creation you feel awe in the wondrousness, immensity and power of you. In the recognition of the pure potential of what it is to be a human aspect of The All That Is, you are enflamed with the love of you and able to access that flame of Divinity not only within yourself but within every unique aspect of Creation perceived in your reality. You honor who you are by the allowance of BEING that unique aspect of Creation that you are, without judgment. You honor all life in the same way.


۞ Laughter, Precious Being, that is the great aligner! As you allow the joy and the laughter to bubble forth, there is no judgment, no fear, no limited beliefs. In those moments of great laughter you are truly in the BOW, without past and without future, but simply in the eternal NOW, in the joy and alignment with your universe. In that moment your brain releases the healing chemicals which allow your body to reflect this unity in the manner of health and well being.


۞ The beauty which surrounds you is an exquisite mirror for you to know how beautiful you really are. When you acknowledge beauty it is to know that if you were not beauty, how could you perceive it outside of you? Do you judge the beauty of nature? No! It is all beautiful to you in a myriad of different ways. You do not compare the beauty of a sunset to the beauty of a blossom and say one is more beautiful than another. In the same fashion do not compare yourself with anyone else. Each one of you is awesomely beauteous in your own unique and divine fashion. Without you, Beloved, the universes would not be the same.


۞ From your belief structures about reality you see that everything in your life is good-bad, positive-negative, happy and sad. All of this dimension may be perceived as polarity. However, be aware that polarity is an illusion. What affects transformation is transcending that illusion of polarity. Your beliefs may be likened unto the house that you live in, which is very often a very tiny box which gives you no room to stretch and grow. As you some to know that this illusion called life, called polarity, called limitation, is self imposed, then by the simple act of choice you may transcend it, to become limitless and sovereign.


۞ Take time each day for yourself. As you get caught up in the idea of ‘duty’, ‘no time’, ‘must succeed’, and that anything which is pleasurable just for you must be selfish, self-indulgent or not deserved, remind yourself that the very fact that you exist makes you worthy of all the wondrousness that you can imagine, and more. By taking time each day for you to harmonize and balance yourself you are honoring and nurturing yourself, which enables you to be more creative, joyous and a of greater service to humanity in your day-to-day life.


۞ Beloved, we suggest to you that you learn to become a creative detective, as in your books of fiction. Only by learning the reasons for your re-active behavioral patterns can you effect the changes that you desire in your life. One of the maladies that besets you in your day-to-days is what you term stress. What is stress? It is a manifestation of fear. It is fear of an imagined outcome, which most often in your world means failure. When you find yourself in stress or struggle be still and ask yourself: “What am I afraid of here? What outcome an I attached to?” you will be most surprised as you uncover beliefs that you did not realize you held and which really no longer serve you. Also, perhaps, how attached you are to what other people think of you.


۞ Choice! You exercise it thousands of times each day without even realizing you are doing so. Be aware of how you choose. If you are going to do it, you might as well choose joy and peace and harmony.


۞ If you want to wait until everything is ‘fixed’ before you will allow yourself to feel freedom and happiness, be prepared for a short and miserable life! Do not wait. Your freedom and happiness are a choice NOW.


۞ Everything in the world is valid, else it would not exist. Everything has a purpose for the higher good. Even that which you would judge to be most destructive upon your plane may serve you, if you will allow it.


۞ Keep it simple. Whatever the drama, whatever the story, come back to the feeling.


۞ Allow yourself to dream the impossible dream. Allow your imagination to run wild. Be who you are at this moment. Thrill yourself with spontaneous action and be the child again. be practical. Plan for a miracle.


۞ Being of service to others may be a smile, a loving word, or support when it is least expected. Being of service to others is simply to make a gift of who you are, to another. BE the gift every day of your life.


۞ Dear One, you are a miracle of this universe. Acknowledge that you are, and look about you to see the miracles reflected back at you. Allow the wonderment of these miracles to permeate your being. This wonderment is, indeed, life-renewing and life-affirming and absolutely life-prolonging.


۞ No one and no-thing can fill the empty space within you, except you.


۞ As you are living in the focus of NOW, without a past and without a future, you are allowing the space for new knowledge and solutions to ‘problems’ to float into your consciousness without strife and struggle.


۞ There is no place on Earth which is more sacred than another. The place you are at this moment, on your Earth, is where you are supposed to be, until the excitement or desire of the heart will move you to another. Know that you live in a safe universe. No place is unsafe, really. Safety is within you, in the knowing that you are safe. The universe supports that knowing absolutely.

۞ You are more than you intelligence, more than your body, more than your passions, and more than your fears. If you are ruled by any or more of these understand that it is a choice. What is part of your soul energy is WILL. You may choose to be the MORE of you and this WILL and the universe, or God-Goddess energy, supports that choice.


۞ You have never made a wrong decision and you never will. The effect of any decision is simply a learning experience, however you may judge it.


۞ The macrocosmic universes are what you may term the galaxies. Microcosmic universes are contained within your own physical structure. The mathematical dimensions are identical. How is that for a miracle?


۞ Freedom is knowing that in every moment you have a choice. Limitation is not exercising that choice.


۞ The intellectual understanding of the concepts we give forth to you are not enough to change your life, really. However, by using that understanding to RECOGNIZE THE FEELING, to access your heart, will transform your life immediately.


۞ When something wondrous occurs in your life, look in the mirror and say “I have created this. I, this grand, multi-dimensional being, have created this.”


۞ Fourth density, transcendence, enlightenment, or whatever you may call it, is not issued forth as a panacea for the ills of your time. It is simply a result of your embracement of every facet of who you are.


۞ As you focus on ‘have not’, you are not focusing on ‘have’. Whatever you focus on or put your energy into is what you will draw to you.


۞ Sometimes you relate the idea of perfection to a finished product and you perceive that when you are perfect, you will be a ‘finished’ article, so to speak. There is no finish, there is no end. Who you are at the moment, in this now, is perfection of the Mind of Creation, unto INFINITY.


۞ In your world of polarity you are very concerned with what you term ‘profit and loss’, ‘win or lose’. Know, however, that as you come into the knowing that you may create whatever you desire, without ‘need’ or desperation, every transaction may be one of win-win with profit to all, loss to none.


۞ As you become to attuned, more in the knowing that you are separate from nothing and no one, you will find that the moments of illumination become longer and longer, until there will be no time when you do not know that you are truly an expression of the God-Goddess.


۞ When you find yourself in a muddle, ask yourself: ‘how would I deal with this if I were an enlightened one?’ thusly you allow yourself to tap into the SELF of you who IS an enlightened being and allow that knowing to issue forth.


۞ Vulnerability is one of the most powerful attributes. Realize that if two people come together and one is vulnerable there can be no confrontation. What is vulnerability? It is to speak your truth, to open your heart and say: “this is who I am and this is what frightens me.”


۞ When you find yourself struggling to manipulate and control external events in your life, look at the dear which lies beneath these actions. If you would simply give up and allow the flow of events, stating your preferred outcome, you would find that the results will be exactly as you desired, without the struggle.


۞ Love or fear – it is your choice in any moment how you perceive it, how you live it. You many cower in fear or dance in the light. The time will come when you will be very bored with living in fear, being paralyzed in a no-life. One day you will open your eyes and say: “This day I will step into the Light.”


۞ Every time you require a definition you acquire a limitation.


۞ The changes which are occurring, heralding the transition of Earth and of humanity, need not be chaotic. As you step further into the expansion of consciousness, so you become more anchored in who you are. You will not be tossed as a leaf in the wind, feeling powerless and out of control. Rather you will be in joyous celebration of the changes, garnering the wisdom and living in the Light of you.


۞ When you find yourself in defense of people’s opinions of you, it is your Ego defending itself. When you say: “But I…”, it is your Ego’s defense mechanism kicking in. that is alright. Embrace your Ego. It is frightened of being dispossessed.


۞ Imagine a sting of light from your heart connecting you to every other human upon your plane. Now imagine many strings of light connecting you to every tree, blade of grass, insect, and animal. From your crown, see a golden thread, which goes forth to the stars, connecting you to every being on every planet of the universes and all the dimensions. Let that feeling resonate in your heart, so you will know how it is to be in non-separation.


۞ You are loved and cherished on every dimension. The names and numbers do not matter. They do not mean anything to you. What is meaningful to you is your own heart, your own soul, your own consciousness, your own potential, your own divine beauty. But we desire you to know that you are not alone.


۞ When you are is unlimited potential. Who are you are is a powerhouse, NOW. Everything that has been in your past is who you are NOW. It is alright. YOU are ALRGIHT. You are everything you can possibly be at this moment. You are glorious, and when you can accept that you are, think of the tomorrows you will create.


۞ Enlightenment is not about being good. It is about BEING.


۞ What you invalidate, indeed, you empower.


۞ As you label conscious, sub-conscious, un-conscious, super-conscious, persona, body, spirit, soul, and God, you are compartmentalizing and separating all the glorious parts of who you are. That is alright, but know that you really are a homogenized body of wondrous energy of Divinity experiencing being human in this now.


۞ When you can imagine the All-That-Is without personification, as such, then you may truly see the All-That-Is in everything, including who you are.


۞ That which you term ‘religion’ upon your plane has nothing to do with the Spiritual truths of the universes, which require no rites, rules or rituals. Religion is a tool of enslavement to keep you in chains, to keep you in control, that you many not know sovereignty and free dominion. It is valid. You have created it, but it is not necessary for your enlightenment.


۞ Dear one, you are very facet of every being ever to walk this planet, and more. You create every lifetime to garner every human experience, and it is all a grand illusion.


۞ Whatever you used as a power-tool, crystals and such like, are valid. However, know that you are your own power-sourceness and you need no outside tools for your inside enlightenment.


۞ Every situation has within it a pearl of wisdom, if you will allow it. To harvest the pearls is to adorn yourself with celestial jewels, to drape yourself in robes of celestial delight, and to grow wings with which to fly into the arms of eternal bliss.


۞ Until you can embrace and enjoy all the facets of who you are, you are not whole. When you are whole, it is called coming home. There are wondrous beings who love you absolutely, who have planned a glorious surprise party in celebration of your return.


۞ There is no such thing as death. When you become tired of wearing one color every day of your life, it is a joy to take off that suit of clothing. Your body, you may say, is a suit of clothing. When you take off that clothing you do not cease to be the wondrous jewel you are.


۞ Sometimes when you are in a muddle, you are of the universe: “please send forth an answer to me”, and you sit and wait to hear celestial voices. Well, most often the answer is not in the form of a celestial voice, but in something quite mundane in your day-to-day life. If you are aware, you will see that you have created the answer in the most tangible and irrefutable fashion. When you have the expectation that the answers may only occur in such and such way, you have closed down all other possibilities for wisdom.


۞ Know that in the appearance of more war, more violence, and more discord you are seeing the polarity of more love, more joy, more harmony. The love will embrace the fear and create Light. As it is within you, so it is without.


۞ This life is about BEING, human BEING, however it is, with all its joys and all its sorrows. Feel how exquisite it is, your tempestuous path to enlightenment. You chose it. You love it. If you did not, it would not be and that is the wondrous and very humorous dichotomy of it.


۞ When we speak of being as of ‘higher dimension’, we speak of the rate of vibratory frequency, not as ‘better than’ or ‘more important’ than humanity. There is no being anywhere who is more than another. The angel is not more than the human. The angel simply knows the ‘MORE’ of who it is. You are still learning. There is no hierarchy within Divinity.


۞ You are a sexual being, from your birthing to your transition, however you may express it. When you look at how sex is used as a tool of manipulation and embrace your fears around your sexuality, then truly, sexuality may indeed become a most joyous expression of the heart, an integrated facet of your own God-Goddessness. Your sexual expression is no different than any other outward expression of who you are.


۞ Every action, every decision you have ever made has brought you to this place, this now. Bless every discordant circumstance which has occurred in your life. You have created it all that you may know who you really are. Own it al. you are not a victim, and neither is anyone else.


۞ When you embrace all the things about yourself which you find unlovable, you will have automatically allowed the space for its opposite trait to manifest.


۞ If you find yourself impatient and cross because something you fervently desired is not made manifest, be still and check any fear, belief, or expectation which may be impeding the manifestation. If you feel clear about that, then simply know that the greater part of who you are has something much grander lined up for you in the ripeness of time than what you have envisioned. Allow it.


۞ It is impossible to change the expression of Divinity that you are. You may simply acknowledge who you are, or not. That is your choice.


۞ Life is what is occurring whilst you are very busy planning your future and regretting your past.


۞ Whatever you desire to manifest, simply put it forth to the universe and KNOW that it already IS. The moment you decide that what you desire can only occur ‘this way’, or in ‘this timing’, you are shutting down your won creativity and millions of possibilities. It is wonderful to make plans, but it is not to be rigid. It is to allow the flow of creativity, that everything may flow from your own Divinity, indeed.


۞ Doubt is of the intellect. Knowing is of feeling. If there is doubt, there is not knowing. Knowing contains no doubt at all.


۞ When your hearts are quickened with excitement and joy, every cell in your body resonates that. The cellular structure of your body, every cell, EVERY cell, has its own consciousness, its own integrity, its own joyous impetus of creativity. In this fashion diseasement of your body, indeed, is a reflection of the diseasement of your heart.


۞ Each time, by word or by deed, you invalidate yourself you will create situations which support that invalidation.


۞ You are so afraid to feel your feelings, in the belief that you will die of the pain of it. The truth is you will die if you do NOT go to the feeling.


۞ For eons of time mankind has been living a dream called reality. It is your decision to awaken from the dream into the REALITY of DIVINITY. Now is the time.


۞ Those who would control you are those who are afraid of not being in control. Those who lust after power are those who fear powerlessness. Those who would steal are in the fear of lack. Those who would torment and torture are those who, indeed, are tortured and tormented. Beloved, have compassion for their fear. As you may, without judgment, enfold these ones into your heart, indeed you will change the reality.


۞ You may create the transition as you would desire it: with love and joy and exuberance, in wild creativity, with great honor and integrity. The words you have will not describe the ecstatic explosion, nor can you imagine how you will all be in that time, when every atom and molecule upon this planet, and the whole planet herself, will radiate with Divine Light. Such exquisite beauty is beyond imaginings.


۞ The external situations in your life have no meaning in and of themselves. It is you, your consciousness, which designates a meaning. If you designate a negative meaning, the result is negative. By designating a positive meaning, the result is positive, thusly allowing for expansion.


۞ You think that when you come into enlightenment is it the end of it all. It is only the beginning.


۞ The self that you really are is more than your waking or sleeping self, more than the emotions you experience in your day-to-days. The next time you are angry, be still and ask yourself, ‘Who is angry?’ The next time you are frustrated, or unhappy, be still and ask yourself, ‘Who is frustrated?’, ‘Who is unhappy?’ Just be still and listen. Feel the SELF of you. This SELF is not angry, frustrated or unhappy.


۞ Each time you invalidate anybody else, you are invalidating who you are. As you invalidate yourself, you are not allowing yourself to be who you are. In this you disallow your own potential for expansion.


۞ You are the orchestrator of your own life. You are the composer and the conductor and all of the instruments in this grand orchestra. You may create wonderful, wonderful symphonies. We suggest that you become fascinated with the beauteous music you create, that all of your life you may bring forth the harmony of it.


۞ In the changes which are occurring upon your planted and in the transitions to come, there are many of humanity, among what would you term to be the power brokers of your world, who are plotting their own power-base. In truth, they are working very well to accomplish that which is completely unbeknown to them. it is called “God moves in mysterious ways”, indeed.


۞ Your soul has no gender. It is not even human. Allow yourself to contemplate this, in all its non-limitation.


۞ What you regard as something very important in your life and to which you devote much energy to create takes no more than that which you regard to be quite insignificant and create without thinking about it. Is this food for thought?


۞ You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Acknowledge the beliefs and fears and self-invalidations which keep you from the truth of who you really are.


۞ Everything in physical existence is simply coalesced energy which vibrates at its own frequency. You have your own unique frequency, different to anyone else. The frequency of humanity is different to the frequency of a cow or a piece of furniture. It is by these frequencies that you perceive differentiation. In truth, energy is energy, and energy is of the Source.


۞ There is nothing to do, nothing to fix. It is simply to allow your Self to be excited by the idea that you exist in this reality enveloped in the tender arms of the Perfect and Divine Self of you, who is simply an extension of the SOURCE.


۞ Dear one, we ask you to contemplate this: love which is ego-based has somewhat of a feeling of fear, or even entrapment, attached to it. Love in the real sense has no thought of giving or receiving attached to it at all. Love simply extends itself, unmindful of anything else. Love simply IS. Love is also simply who you really are.


۞ The state of health or diseasement of your physical body is simply a mirror of your emotional state of Being. One is as valid as the other. The universe does not judge one as being better or worse than the other. Your body’s desire at cellular level is to show forth radiant wholeness, and as you heal and align your emotional body, so your physical body will automatically reflect that change.


۞ Allow the children of your world to grow with the knowledge of their own power, that they create their own reality, and allow them to know how to do that. Allow them to know there is no such thing as ‘success versus failure’. Encourage their dreams, and tell them that by their dreams and their imagination they create what they desire. Teach them co-operative play rather than competition. Honor their sovereignty and love them absolutely in the knowledge they are Gods and Goddesses come forth to be your teachers and mirrors.


۞ If you were to stand aside from what you term to be your ‘real life’, you would know that in a manner of speaking your ‘dream life’ is more real than your waking reality. In your dream state you commune with other aspects of you, with dear friends and companions not of this reality, and indeed, those who are. Oftentimes you play and adventure in other dimensions and with beings you would regard to be extra-terrestrial. Understand that these communications are initiated by you, for your own expansion, even when you cannot bring forth any conscious remembrance. If you would desire to remember, simply ask forth before you sleep. However, know that many of these journeyings do not fit into the limited boxes of your definition of reality.


۞ You have control of your life by letting go of the NEED to control it. Let go, and let GOD I AM.


۞ You are ALREADY the fourth density being you desire to be. You are ALREADY tapping into that higher consciousness you think is so elusive. You are ALREADY growing into the expansion of who you really are. As you believe it, so it is. You are what you believe you are.


۞ In the measure of basing your feelings of love, joy, validation and success on other people and external events, you are bound to feel rejection, unhappiness, invalidation and failure.


۞ There has existed and still does, in a fashion, a belief that your bodies may be taken over by what is termed to be ‘evil spirits’. We remind you that you are sovereign beings and not ever victims. That which is termed evil is merely the manifestation of fear, unembraced.


۞ What you regard to be senility is the gradual relinquishing of the present and the desire to be gone from this place and time. This signifies the loosening of the ties between the consciousness and body and the consciousness spending more and more time out of the body to experience adventures of another kind.


۞ Hating conflict and violence will not bring harmony and peace. Love harmony and peace brings harmony and peace.


۞ Love is who you are. Love is the truest description of your SELF as the thought of the Mind of Creation. All else is an illusion, a misperception of the limited ego-consciousness.


۞ It is not that external events are your lessons. Wisdom comes from the recognition of the FEELINGS attached to those events. The experiences you bring to yourself are often unpleasant or discordant. This is simply your mind-set of eons of time which tells you that as a guilty and unworthy person, you deserve nothing better.


۞ Look at how often each day you turn your focus to what you perceive to be the differences and conflicts within yourself and between you and your brothers and sisters. When you will turn your focus to unity, to the exemplification of Divinity that you share, then you will close that perceived gap called separation.


۞ The desire to manifest, which comes out of a place of fear or need, does not support the most fervent desire of your heart, which is to come to know the God I AM, who needs nothing and may have anything simply for the joy of it.


۞ We give forth words to you, and in a way, these words create separation. Your logical mind interprets the words according to your own limited perceptions, fears, and beliefs. We would ask you to go to the feeling the words generate within you. Thereby you may know their truth.


۞ It is not necessary to go back into the past to align what has created pain and anguish, or indeed, to create the healing of your physical body. It is only necessary in this now moment to embrace the thought that you are a Divine and Perfect Expression of Creation. In that thought, you are automatically in that place of responsibility, non-judgment and allowance of the feeling which that thought engenders.


۞ Other people’s ideas of who you are and who you should be usually have nothing to with the Truth of your Being. You can buy into the limitation of these ideas or not.


۞ There has always been somewhat of a fear within you of the unknown quality of limitlessness, of having no boundaries, of being infinite. However, we assure you that just as you have already expanded into your present stat, which has now become quite familiar to you, so it will continue in this fashion. You truly have no limit and the Self of you is very comfortable with its own infinite Divinity.


۞ Beloved, we ask you to look at how you all identify with roles. The role of son or daughter, mother or father, husband or wife, employer or employee. Understand how you limit yourself by these ideas. It is time now to step beyond the roles that have been assigned to you and those you have assigned to other people in your life. Be aware of how your ideas of these roles limit your relationships and keep you in chains.


۞ The process of ‘becoming’ enlightened is really a concept of ego-consciousness. The truth is you are already as perfect and Divine as you will ever be. It is simply that this fact is not recognized by the ego consciousness. Will you remind yourself of this when you fall into the dismals about your ‘progress’?


۞ As you allow yourself to reveal who you are to those about you, so this allowance will help heal the wounds of your heart. As you reveal yourself, so the judgments and fears about yourself are on the way to being aligned. You only fear revelation because you secretly fear you are less than you should be and that the real you is absolutely unlovable. How strange it is that all of the secret fears of humanity are exactly the same!


۞ The truth of how you may manifest joy and harmony and abundance in your life is simple. However, as you get caught up in the seeming complexity of your day-to-day life, be aware that it is your mind-set which creates the complexity. You have a choice to continue in this mind-set of to be still have look at HOW you create it and HOW you may change it.


۞ In this timing in your society many of you are feeling the stirring to do something different, to change the pattern of your life. Most of you have been programmed to think that once you have made a choice as to what your ‘life’s work’ is then it would be considered flighty or fickle to change it. Also there enters an element of fear around security. We remind you that nothing is cast in stone, nor are any of the multitudinous choices mutually exclusive. It does not have to be ‘this’ for the rest of your days. It can be this AND this AND this AND this. You really are grandly creative. You can do anything you want. Go for it! Follow your excitement! Do what makes your heart sing!


۞ It is most beneficial for you not to focus on what you think must be ‘fixed’ before you can step into ‘enlightenment’. There is nothing to fix and whatever you focus on you draw to you. it is rather to focus on the joy of being the God-Goddess smelling the rose NOW.


۞ The excitement and the singing of the heart, which you experience when you contemplate an imagined action, is the indication of the very real expression of who you are. When you deny the action, you deny yourself the gift of yourself to yourself and to your world.


۞ Your life is not meant to be serious. How long is it since you have allowed yourself light-heartedness and laughter? All of this business is about enlightenment, not enheavyment.


۞ You know, you really are so wonderful. You are amazing, astonishingly beautiful and astonishingly courageous. We understand that most of the time you cannot acknowledge this to be so. However, as you expand and reveal the YOU of you to yourself, you will see YOU with my eyes. How is that for a tongue twister? I salute you and love you absolutely.


۞ Thank you for sharing who you are with that which be I. as you are reading the words we have issued forth, the essence of you mingles with the essence that I AM in an ecstatic dance called Light, called Love. We desire only to serve you, that you may recognize the perfume of your own blossoming.


۞ It is now time for you to dwell in the house of eternal LOVE and play in the garden called heaven on the earth of your own creation. We are waiting for you.

What Would Your Answers Be?

Recently I went to a self discovery workshop with Ananda. I haven’t talked much about Ananda on my blog, but those that have been with me on my blog since its inception know of her and what she means to me. (if you are curious, please read “Learning through Chakra’s” in my highlighted posts on the right)


During this workshop we were asked to fill out a questionnaire. We each had to go to separate places in the room and spend some time completing the questions. We were told to interpret them in any manner and to spend some time thinking about what our truest answers were. After the group was finished answering the questions we all went into a circle and talked about what we had written and why. It wasn’t a judgmental thing. It was 30 people in a room learning from each other and being able to pose their viewpoints without fear of ridicule. We reveled in each others differences and awed ourselves with the ability to see the same things through so many different perspectives. I learned something from every person in the room that day.


It was another wonderful day with my gifted guide, Ananda. I am so grateful that she thinks of me and is willing to offer me the tools necessary to enhance and enrich my life.


Here are the questions and my answers to them.


The great sin? Gossip.
The great crippler? Fear.
The greatest mistake? Giving up.
The most satisfying experience? Doing your duty first.
The best action? Keep the mind clear and judgment good.
The greatest blessing? Good health.
The biggest fool? The person who lies to themselves.
The great gamble? Substituting hope for facts.
The most certain thing in life? Change.
The greatest joy? Being needed.
The cleverest person? The one who does what they think is right.
The most potent force? Positive thinking.
The greatest opportunity? An offer of kindness.
The greatest thought? Meditation to my higher being.
The greatest victory? Self control
The best play? Making my 2 year old nephew laugh
The greatest handicap? Egotism.
The most expensive indulgence? Hate.
The most dangerous person? The liar.
The most ridiculous trait? False pride.
The greatest loss? Loss of self confidence.
The greatest need? Common sense.

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or am I really noticing a trend of complete ironies on blog entries latley?

Some are proclaiming BDSM cant be lived on the computer while in the same breath on another persons blog they are also actively proclaiming that they have supreme open mindedness for ALL people and mindsets of the "Lifestyle"

Some are proclaiming that they do not get emotionally involved online and then they turn around and spend all of their free time and waking thoughts blogging about how "angry", or "hurt", or any other emotion, they are by people online.

Some are proclaiming that falling in love is possible on the internet and in the same breath on another person's blog they are also actively campainging to their friends that the internet is full of nothing but lies and people with hidden agendas and do not trust anyone.

Some are unequivocally stating that they are without a doubt 100% "OVER" someone else and that they are "ready" to "move on" and never speak to that person again because he/she was such an "internet player" meanwhile in their "moving on" process they change their ID's, create a new blog and the first person they add is the "internet player" they are so "OVER" and continue to spend all of their time bitching, moaning, whining, complaining about the fact that the person they are so "OVER" did not miraculously change their personalities while they were changing their yahoo IDs.

Some truly boggle my mind because they seem to go through life believing and agreeing with whatever topic someone else blogged about. They dont seem to notice that their friends are all within a circle of people and that their friends can easily and plainly see their ineffective and ridiculous methods of indecision. It's like they are terrified to have a thought of their own.

Some are begging someone else to make a decision about what their own hearts need. They are so wrapped up in the ideas they have created and the fantasy's they envision that they have lost reality.

Is it just me or are these not ironies at their best?


I understand that contradictions lie within every person and I understand that most people react to things 100% emotionally with very little literal thought applied...but seriously...dont you ever wonder, even for a second or two, HOW these people function in their day to day lives ???

an Apology

I owe my friends here an apology for my radical disappearance from 360 and most of their lives. I got addicted to facebook and let an old set of friends relegate all of my time...I didnt forget about you guys and I'm sorry if some of you feel like I did. Please know that it wasnt intentional and that I do think about you often and miss laughing and talking with you like crazy!!

I seem to create patterns in my life ~ some good, some bad, and others that are neither, they just mean change...I hate change yet I seem to be the one creating most of it in my life...I have come to the conclusion that I am terrified of stability yet I deeply crave it.

I am noticing that another pattern is how quickly I "change" my social connections online and offline. Within the online environment it is somewhat understandable because as you get to know people past a surface level sometimes you just decide that you cant tolerate some of their decisions/choices, or you decide that your personalities arent a mix, or you grow apart through the normal ID changes and everything else that is "yahoo". But even to me, that sounds so pathetic, its a weak excuse. Why am I making excuses?

Latley I find myself thinking back on the people I have "walked away" from or have let distance grow between us. With some ~looking back with crystal clear 20/20 clarity defining goggles~ it was silly misunderstandings, or a fight that had nothing to do with me that I picked a side on, or it was extreme concern and worry with heavy handed words...I wonder if those relationships are truly gone or if they are salvagable? I wonder if it would be worth it to try?

I am havnig a hard time right now. Between the promotion at work, my family, Lance and our new house...I feel really weighted down. I used to use this as a place to destress, talk about things and unwind with some lighthearted laughter but I am having alot of problems finding that place within me latley.

I am a natural worrier. It seems to be my role. I worry about the bank account and balance the cheque books daily. I know...daily!?!? it sounds insane even to me. I worry about everything. I am a planner. I plan so I dont have to worry....now I am worrying because I dont have a plan.

I feel so intolerant of everything right now. I cant think of a reason WHY though. I feel edgey and out of place. I feel inadequate and insecure. I feel annoyed because I really have no reason to feel those things...which causes me to spend more time than I should thinking about them, which turns them into more worries without a plan...see the pattern? *sighs*

I am really missing Lance. I think that is where it is all coming from. We are happy. We spend copious amounts of time together and healthy amounts of time apart. I miss rolling over in bed and snuggling against him. I miss our sex life so bloody much sometimes that I wish these fucking clots would either just disappear or kill me.

I am disheartened because I was making progress towards healthier life choices - I started swimming, dieting, walking the dog...getting active...and I was losing weight and feeling really good about myself and then this bloody health crap started and now I am back to square one and I dont like it. I am gaining the weight back because I dont have the air supply or the pain free ability to move around alot. I...I think I just figured out my reason as to why I am so intolerant right now.

I hope you guys know that I do think about you and care about you and that I do miss you.

Exploring Self Awareness

The center of your universe begins and ends with you. You are the source of everything you experience. You are foundation and common denominator to all aspects of your life, including your environment, your relationships, and your belief system. Without you, your world would cease to exist. Therefore, if you want to make any real and significant changes to your life, the only place to start is with yourself.

You must first know what materials you have to work with before creating the life you want. You have to have self awareness before moving into self acceptance. Once that foundation is established, you can then build yourself anew using your wants and desires as the building materials to shape yourself and your world.

It All Begins With Awareness

Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self awareness, you will better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without fully knowing who you are, self acceptance and change become impossible.

Having clarity about who you are and what you want (and why you want it), empowers you to consciously and actively make those wants a reality. Otherwise, you’ll continue to get “caught up” in your own internal dramas and unknown beliefs, allowing unknown thought processes to determine your feelings and actions.

If you think about it, not understanding why you do what you do, and feel what you feel is like going through your life with a stranger's mind. How do you make wise decisions and choices if you don't understand why you want what you want? It's a difficult and chaotic way to live never knowing what this stranger is going to do next.

Who's the expert?

When we want good, solid information, we turn to the experts. So, who are you going to turn to for information about yourself? Who's the expert?

You.

Does a friend, a therapist, a minister, your hero, your spouse, your parents know more about you than you? They can't. You live in your skin and mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. Day in and day out. No one’s closer to you than you! The answers are in there, perhaps all you’ve needed to solve your riddles is a useful question.

Using Questions To Be More Self Aware

Questions can help you become more self aware. Are you where you live? Are you your job? Are you what you look like? The answers to these questions are only reflections of who you are to the outside world. But it’s just that, a reflection of your inner self. To go below the surface, the questions need to be more meaningful.

Think of The Questions as being in layers. Each level or layer of questioning takes you closer and closer to the “core of your being.”

Example of Layers
What type of people do I enjoy spending time with? Well...they have to be open-minded people. I really enjoy their company.
Why do I enjoy being with open-minded people? Because then I can explore lots of different ideas. I enjoy searching for answers. And if they’re open-minded, the exploration can go anywhere!
What do I mean by “exploration can go anywhere”? I mean I can investigate all the big questions in life like...Why are we here or where do emotions come from?
How does being with open-minded people assist me in exploring those questions? Well...if they’re open-minded they won’t make fun of my ideas.
Why is it important to me that people not make fun of my ideas? Because it feels like my ideas are..well...me. I don’t like being made fun of.
Why don’t I like being made fun of? Because then I feel shitty about myself.
Why would I feel shitty about myself if people made fun of me? Because they’re not accepting me for who I am!
Why do I feel shitty if others don’t accept me for who I am? Because it means I’m not OK.
How does others not accepting me mean I’m not okay? Hmmmm.... I guess it doesn't have to mean that.

As you can see, the further down in the questioning process you go, the more you can tap into why you do what you do and who you are. It will take time for you to go through all the questions if you keep digging down each layer. Feel free to refer back to this example when answering the questions.

Tips On Answering Questions

Awareness is the first step in the creation process. As you grow in self awareness you will better understand why you feel what you feel and why you behave as you behave. That understanding then gives you the opportunity and freedom to change those things you’d like to change about yourself and create the life you want. Without knowing who you are, self acceptance and change become impossible.

Be As Specific As You Can
General answers will only give you a general sense of who you are. The more specific your answers, the more impact they'll have on your life and you'll have a much clearer picture of yourself. I can not emphasis this enough. Be specific. Be specific. Give specific answers. When you think you've been pretty specific, make it even more specific.

Questions, Not Judgments
Don't ask yourself these questions with a judgmental tone. They’re not accusations, or calls for you to defend yourself. They’re questions to help you discover who you are. Be honest, gentle, and nonjudgmental. No one has to see your answers. This is between you and you, and no one else.

Letting It Flow
If while answering the questions you come up with your own line of questioning, then definitely follow it. (You’re the expert here.) Also, if you answer, “I don’t know”, to any of the questions, give yourself the freedom to take a wild guess. The guess will allow you to continue. You know more than you think you do!

Be Totally Honest
Honesty leads to true awareness, but it requires courage. It’s the courage to face what you fear or find difficult to accept about yourselves. When you summon the courage to take ownership of your actions, thoughts, and feelings, you will recover the blueprint of your life. You’ll be able to face your fears and find the inaccurate beliefs that created them.

“We make our world significant by the courage of our questions,

and the depth of our answers.”
- Carl Sagan

When answering the questions below, see if you are substituting rationalizations for your genuine feelings. Check inside and see if you are asking yourself “How SHOULD I feel?”, rather than “How do I really feel?”. Monitor if you are speculating intellectually about the answer, rather than getting in touch with what you are thinking or feeling.

Know that in the past you had reasons for being dishonest and that those reasons may no longer be useful or serve you. Know whatever you discover about yourself, you can handle with ease and acceptance. Trust that the information you uncover will in some way lead to a greater sense of peace about yourself. That the answers to the questions will take you by the hand, and lead you to where you want to go.

Becoming honest is an act of self renewal. What a sense of freedom you’ll feel when you’re able to admit to yourself...”I want this, or think this, or feel this because I’m afraid that...[fill in the blank]. This is the first step toward discovering hidden fears. What a wonderful place to know where you are! It’s difficult to reach a destination, when you don’t even know where you’re starting. You need only to gather your courage and look for your beliefs you have about yourself and your world. The rewards of doing so will lead you to places of happiness you never knew existed.

Self Awareness Questions

This page is filled with questions. I’ve divided the questions into the following categories: Social, Emotional, Significant Relationship, Spiritual/Ethical, Financial, Career, Personal, and Personal Definitions. They’re worded in a way to help you get a clearer picture of who you are. Clarity is the goal here, but remember, have fun with the questions. This isn’t intended to be a struggle!

Social

• What type of people do I enjoy spending time with? (intelligent, open-minded, out-going, self-righteous, reflective, quiet, funny, a bit sad, optimists, readers, pessimists, thinkers, sports-minded, active, perceptive, debaters, joke-tellers, etc.)
• Why do I enjoy those specific qualities in people?
• Do I seek out people similar as I, or different from me? Why is that?
• Do I have many friends as I just described? Why or why not?
• How many close friends do I want based on the amount of time I have?
• What would those close relationships look like? What would be the biggest aspects? (talking, shared activities, working on projects together, laughter, storytelling, playing games, etc.)
• What are two of the most favorite things I enjoy doing with others?
• Where have I met most of the friends I currently have? (family, work, community, childhood, online, etc.)
• What does where I met these friends tell me about myself?
• Why am I still friends with those people?
• What is the single biggest attitudinal change I’d like to make when with people? (be more myself, be more out-going, be more honest, initiate more conversations, be more comfortable, be more open, be funnier, interrupt less, initiate more activities, etc.)

Emotional

• List three situations and/or times when you were the most happy in your life. Specific instances...What elements were present when I felt that way? How was I feeling about myself during those times?
• What do I fear most in my life right now? Why? What would it mean if that happened?
• When do I feel the most angry or frustrated? What is it about those situations that I feel that way?
• What is my definition of love? (not Webster’s)
• What are my primary beliefs about love? (it’s easy, scary, short-lived, feels good, not possible, difficult, etc.) Where/when did I acquire those beliefs? Do I still believe them? Why or why not?
• Do I have much control over my emotions? Why or why not?
• What emotions do I want to feel most of the time?

Significant Relationship

If NOT currently in a marriage/life partnership/relationship

• What specific characteristics do I want my ideal life partner to possess? (generosity, open-mindedness, funny, gentle, strong personality, quiet, organized, similar beliefs about politics, finances, parenting, etc, fun, honest, similar goals, attractive, playful, out-going, etc.)
• Why do I want them to have those characteristics?
• How would I feel if I never had a life partner? Why would I feel that way?

If currently in a marriage/life partnership/relationship

• Am I happy in my current relationship? Why or why not?
• What is the biggest problem I see in the relationship?
• In what way would I like my partner to change? Why is that important to me?
• Could I be happy if that person did not change? Why or why not?
• What did I appreciate about this person when I first met/knew them?
• What do I appreciate about them now?
• Why are those qualities important to me?
• What is the single biggest attitudinal change I could make that would enhance this relationship?

Spiritual / Ethics

• Do I believe in god? If not, how do I believe the universe operates? Why do I believe that?
• How has my childhood effected my beliefs about God/or lack there of?
• What characteristics do I believe God possesses? Why do I believe that?
• What is my relationship with this God/Universe? Is it the relationship I want? Why or why not?
• In what way does my spiritual beliefs effect my day-to-day life?
• Do I have a code of conduct that I follow? If no, do I want one? Why or why not? If yes, what is it and why those codes?

Financial

• What beliefs did I “take on” from my parents in regards to money? (it's difficult to get, it's scarce, you should only have so much, it's easy to make, having it /not having it says something about me, live for the moment, give it away, I'll never have enough, it's a secret, saving is important, etc)
• What does money mean/represent to me? (security, aliveness, freedom, love, peace of mind, etc)
• Do I feel peaceful or anxiety in regards to money? Why do I feel that way about it?
• How much money do I feel I deserve to make a year? Why that amount?
• What would it mean to me if I made more or less than that amount? Why do I believe that?

Career

• 
  What types of things did I enjoy doing as a child? (building things, drawing, sports, writing, solving puzzles, being with animals, my chemistry set, organizing games, talking, anything physical, playing house, cowboys and Indians, etc) Do I do anything today that has similar qualities to it?
• How do I currently earn my livelihood? How did I come to be so employed?
• What was present during the times I loved my work? What were the elements present in those situations?
• Am I currently doing the type of work I love to do? If not, what type of work would I like to do? If yes, what would have to change for me to enjoy it more? What attitudinal change could I make to enjoy it more?
• What has stopped me so far from pursuing the type of work I love? Do I want to continue allowing that to stop me? What could I do to change that?
• What is my definition of success? (not Webster’s)

Personal

• What skills have I acquired that I'm proud of?
• What accomplishments am I proud of?
• Beginning when I was a child, what are the 10 most significant events in my life? Why did I make them significant?
• What period of my life do I like most? Why? What period of my life do I like least? Why?
• What are five of my greatest strengths?
• What do I desire most right now? Why do I desire that?
• If I was to receive an award, what would I want that award to be for? Why that?
• If I was to pick out a general theme that showed up often while answering these questions, what would that theme be? What does it mean? How do I feel about that?

Personal Definitions

In addition to asking yourself questions, you may also want to investigate your personal definitions of common words. I know when I went through this process of self awareness, I found I only had a very general sense of the meaning of words. It wasn’t until I came up with my own precise and specific definitions, that their meaning became clear. Although my definitions were not that drastically different from the dictionary’s, the words had more impact on my life once I defined them myself.

What is YOUR definition of the following words?

- love - success - honesty - happiness - soul - true - acceptance - inner peace
- trust - appreciation - knowing - believe - reality - fear - joy - judgment
- anger - mistake - sex - friend - guilt - intention - responsibility - myself

Only With Self Awareness will Self Acceptance happen.